“Successful is the person who has lived well, laughed often,
and loved much; Who has gained the
respect of children; Who leaves the world better than they found it; who has never lacked appreciation for the
Earth’s beauty; Who never failed to look for the best in others and who always
gave the best of themselves.”
That quote hangs on my wall with this picture of Deddy. A few months before he died, we arranged his
trophies, awards, and plaques in his office and had him to sit with all of them
and take a picture. He had been voted into
the NC Hall of Honor just a few days before.
He laughed and asked us why in the world we wanted him to do that. I told him because he had earned it and he
sat down.
But the picture is not just of Deddy sitting with a bunch of
trophies. It’s not a picture of arrogance
nor of being too proud and it would not even begin to tell the story Travis and
I know. It shows a countless number of
hours on T-Ball, Little League, and Junior League fields. It shows long days picking up other kids
during the summers just so they could play ball. It shows so many times when he gave
encouragement in both victory and defeat.
It shows dedication to his community and the pride he took in helping so
many times in different ways. I see
friends to this day that immediately reminisce about playing ball during the
summers. Everybody that played on one of
his teams loves those memories.
When you look at the trophies behind him, its easy to see
success. However, it does not show the
challenges he faced throughout his life. The years he got up before daylight to start
his day to provide for Mama, Travis and
me. It does not show the worry and
stress during times when the economy would slow down and it would be a lot
harder to make a living. It doesn’t show
the hours he worked at night just to get ready for the next day.
I see so many of you on Facebook who have lost family
members. I know many of you have also
lost your father. I cannot tell you how
sympathetic I am for you because I know exactly how you feel. I still miss Deddy as much now as I did the
week after he passed away. I regret that
I cannot sit down and talk to him sometimes so he can help me make a
decision. He was on my mind even more
the last few years as Mama battled cancer and Mema Brafford’s health
declined. I often wondered if he knew
what was going on and what he could see.
I know that Mema Brafford saw him several times during her last few weeks
so I’m certain he was on her welcoming committee!
I certainly learned a lot from my father. He was always supportive and encouraging but
he also taught Travis and me respect. He
didn’t do that by force, but instead he led by example. That was one his best traits. He was respectful of everyone around him. He was a good son to his mother and
father. He was a good brother to Randy,
Sammy, and Uncle Boyd and anytime one of his brothers needed him, he was there
for them immediately. He respected my mother
and he appreciated everything she did for him as his own health declined. In turn, when Mama was battling cancer, I did
not hesitate to do everything I could to help her.
The saving grace of losing someone so close to you is
knowing that they are at peace and there is no more sickness or sorrow. I often wonder what and if they can see
anything. I hope he knows that I honored
my promise to him. I hope he can see how
much his grandson, Colton, looks like him.
I hope he can see Travis and me coaching T Ball games and he is reminded
of the fond memories that we have. I
hope he knows how much I miss him. I
hope he knows that so many people honor him often simply with a fond
memory. Deddy lived well, laughed often,
and loved much. Although his time on
Earth was not nearly as long as I would have liked, the example he set as a
father lives on through Travis and me. As
time passes by, if we can reflect on our own lives and see that we emulated
Deddy’s life, that will certainly be something that both of us can be proud
of.
