Primary 2008

Seriously, it is May 1 and I am sick of the election process. Should we just elect a King?

Here is what I want. Let's pick out the 10 most important things we care about. Taxes, the war, the economy, health care, etc. Then we will have the candidates fill out a form to see where they stand. Ok, ok, I know, if I go to their websites, I can find this information. However, the calamity of trying to run each other in the ground often becomes more important than what the candidate stands for.

How many of you are tired of watching TV and EVERY damned commercial is a political ad. I want the candidates commercials to say "this is why I am great". I don't really give a damn about what they think of each other. Seriously, do any of us give a damn if George Bush likes Al Gore? How about Hillary and Obama? Is it going to help me sleep better at night if they become friends. I don't care if they tie themselves together and fight to the death with plastic picnic knives.

The one thing that I do love about the elections is how many experts it creates. I mean, Rush is one smart, oxycontin taking son-of-a-bitch. I get so tired of the extremist on both sides I could throw up. "We have enough oil in Montana to power America for 100 years, but the liberalist will not let us drill there?" What in the hell are you talking about? If we have a supply like that, I say we drill our asses off! Then, let's make a new goal....over the next 100 years, let's see if we can TRY to come up with some great idea for energy besides oil.

I tell you what discourages me. A common man or woman will never be President of the United States. To be honest, I doubt you could even get to be a senator. How much money would the candidates that have ran this year be worth if they pooled their money? How about a tetra-metra-gazillion. That is how much.

What if we could have the best minds, the most reasonably thinking citizens to run for president that would represent the best interest of the United States? Its a great thought, but it will never happen.

But you know what? I turned 35 last year. So look over your shoulder America, K-Rob is peaking around the corner. Do you know what that means? That means I could be president. Do you know what that means? That means a lot of things. Crime would be at an all time low with a slogan of "The Bullshit is Over". You commit a crime, your ass is grass and I'm a damned John Deere lawn mower with racing fuel. You commit a horrendous crime, guess what, the trial last about 10 minutes and then you get the chair. The days of feeling sorry for the criminal just ended. Taxes would be fair, reasonable, and used appropriately. We would make every effort not to have every country besides Canada hating us. "Oil is how much a barrel?, Oh, ok then I guess you want us to shut down our military base and come the hell home?, ok, Hey by the way, good luck with your new best friends Iran and Syria" What in the hell is an earmark? A what? You get 600 million dollars for stuff in your state because you are old? Don't think so.

So I guess we'll just hang in there and mull through the political commercials. It's kind of like a hemorrhoid, its a pain in the ass, but we just have to put up with it. Hopefully, we as a nation will make the right decision for all of us.