Uncle Boyd's Christmas Party

Every Christmas for as far back as I can remember, my father, his brothers and their friends would get together sometime before Christmas and just have a good time. They would cook, enjoy some of Santa's "magic" juice, tell stories about each other, and laugh about life in general.

Of course things would change in 2000 because my father passed away. But it changed not in a bad way, but a different way. We knew how important that party was to everybody and we knew it needed to continue. So, me and Travis insisted the party continue and we started going. As the years have passed a few other friends have earned their right of passage into "Uncle Boyd's Christmas Party".

Now let me make one thing clear. All are not welcome, I assure you. You know how the company you work for, or the school you teach at, or the club you are in is obligated to invite the one or two people nobody wants to come? We don't do that at Uncle Boyd's. You are voted in on merit and your ass can be voted out if you do ANYTHING we don't like. There are no "rights", no union, no court or judge involved. Uncle Boyd is the judge, we are the jury and the buck stops there. I like it that way. A very select group of friends who have all earned their medal.

A man's life is often judged in materialistic ways; how much money he made, how successful he built his business, how many cars he had, and how big his house was. But in reality, these things are not as important when you think about life in a big picture. Things that really are important; how did he treat his family?, how did he treat people in general?, what did he do for his community?, what kind of man was he overall? This theory makes perfect sense if you think about it. I have no idea what Henry Ford was worth when he died, but I know he started Ford Motor Company and revolutionized the auto industry. How much money was Abraham Lincoln worth when he died? Mark Twain? How much money did Mother Teresa earn in her lifetime? You see, nobody cares because it is absolutely irrelevant.

I miss my father everyday. I miss him more at Christmas. If someone could have been a real life Santa Claus, it was him. I cannot remember a Christmas he did not do something good for multiple people. That was his nature. Every year at Uncle Boyd's Christmas Party, he comes up several times. Often times we are laughing, sometimes we are serious, but the times that have always said the most about my father are the times when someone mentions something he did good in his life and everyone just keeps quiet for a few minutes.

My father certainly wasn't rich. But then again, he was. If you measured his life in how much money he made, you would say he had been reasonably successful. But nobody really even considers that. What people remember are things he did good, families he rallied to help at Christmas, second and third chances he gave people, patient advice he offered when asked. They remember his laugh and how friendly he was. They remember how dependable he was, how he treated his family, how he treated his friends. My father's life was measured not by money, but by how many people came to his funeral. The church was packed and people were standing inside and outside the church.

I don't know what people can see in Heaven, I have no idea. But I do think he would be glad we still have Uncle Boyd's Christmas Party every year. He would like it when Tony starts singing Elvis Christmas music, he would laugh about James becoming agitated when he gets confused about the card game going on, he would give Uncle Boyd some of the grief back that Uncle Boyd gives the rest of us, and he would talk to everyone and make everybody feel welcome. That was my father. This will be the 10th Christmas he has not been here and I can remember his voice in my head like we talked yesterday. I know he's happier, I know he's well, but I still miss him. For me, he was the one person I could ALWAYS go to for advice. There have been many times when I had to make a decision alone that I never would have when he was living. But that's life and it goes on no matter what. But what I really hope is that some way, he's able to see Uncle Boyd's Christmas Party and enjoy the good times that we still have.

The Ten Commandments

Well, well, well. It's that time of the year again. Spring is coming, flowers are blooming, Easter is just around the corner, and "The Ten Commandments" is once again coming on television!

This of course is my favorite movie of all time. Now, I know for a lot of you that have heard me recite every line from "Silence of the Lambs", that may be somewhat of a surprise. But I think its great. You have to admit, it is one of the most fascinating stories in the Bible and the movie is certainly one of the most dramatic movies of all time.

There are a number of things about the movie that run through my mind each time I watch it. To begin with, the Pharoah and anyone that followed him must have had some sort of learning disability. Now, I can somewhat see the thought process of Pharoah; he had all the wealth, owned the entire city and ruled everyone. But it is still a little hard to believe, that in the end, someone could be that stupid.

Now I am sure Rameses, Pharoah's son, was loving life in the beginning. Here is Moses, the thorn in Rameses' side for so long. His father loved Moses more, his woman wanted Moses to ravage her, and Moses was better at building this great city they were working on. So, when they found out Moses was a slave, don't you know that Rameses was elated! Even then, everyone was ready to accept him. But Moses refused and decided to live amongst the slaves. So then Moses is called by God to be the deliverer and goes to Pharoah to tell him to let the slaves go. Of course Pharoah saw this as preposterous considering they had an army, owned and ruled the city, lived a lavish lifestyle and owned all the slaves. So from there point of view, who was this "God" that Moses worshipped.

At this point in the movie, things start to get crazy. Pharoah dies and Rameses becomes the big chief on the throne. I always contemplate, what if I was one of the Egyptian guards? It would be like this..."Ok, check this out Rameses, you have an army and complete power and this guy has a stick. You threw snakes at him and his stick turned into a snake and ate your snakes. I haven't had a drink of water in forever because its all blood now. Frogs, gnats, and locust have eaten everything but your wife's eyebrows. We all have boils all over us and its hailing fire. And oh yeah, by the way, its been so dark for 3 days that I can't see my hand in front of my face. Seriously, I realize that your logic has been altered since you went on "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" and they told you that a long pony tail on one side of your head would be a strong look for you and your son. But you keep talking to that black statue with a bird's head on it. What has he done so far? Stand there and look stupid while the God that Moses worships kicks your ass? I think so. Therefore, here is my sword and my armor. I am putting on one of those potato sack robes and I am going with Moses because his God is God!" The story would be very different if I lived back them.

But as the movie moves forward from all of that, Rameses' brain gets smaller. Moses TELLS HIM, "the next plague brought onto Egypt will come from your mouth". But super, duper smart Rameses says, "Oh yeah, anymore plagues brought on to us, and I'll kill the first born of every Hebrew family". This is my part again "Hey Pharoah, are you trying to be stupid? Yeah, remember me? I was in your army last week but I wised up pretty quick. You sure you don't want to take that back?" And Rameses says "Nope, I am super smart". What happens? A mean, green fog of death floats through Egypt and kills all of the first born of Egyptian families. THEN, he lets the slaves go. "Well, way to go Pharoah! See, it didn't really take that much to convince you!?"

Next thing you know, the city is cleared out. They were all gone. What was Rameses doing? Worshipping the bird head man to bring his son back to life. At this point I'm thinking "Really?, that's your plan?". Of course his beautiful wife who loved him so comes in, mocks him, and DARES him to chase the slaves down and kill Moses. You would think at this point he would say, "Nefertari, why don't you shut that windsock that keeps flapping in the wind before I go postal." But no, he says, "Oh yeah, I'll chase Moses down and bring his blood back on my sword!" Did the burning bush cause him to reconsider? Nope. Did it cross his mind that it might not be a real good idea to send his entire army into the sea that God divided for the slaves to cross through? Nope.

So, after watching his army destroyed by the sea and the slaves shooting off fireworks on the other side, Pharoah goes home with his gimpy horse. And what does
his sweet wife ask? "Where is the blood of Moses?" Once again, if I could be in this scene, this would be my response..."Ummmm, Nefi, check this out....in case you didn't notice, you just suffered through 10 plagues. Your little boy is deceased. All the slaves have hit the trail, and just to make you aware of what is actually going on, Rameses left here a few days ago with 10,000 soldiers. Unless I have severe cataracts, it appears that he has come home with just his horse and one of Willie Nelson's braids hanging off the side of his head. Does it appear to you that he rode back in with a posture of victory, or of a whooped dog? If he has the blood of Moses on his sword, he found one of his worn out band-aids from that long desert walk and he rubbed the blood on his sword. Moses asked God to divide the ocean, walked through, then walked up the mountain to talk to God. So, you and "silly hair" can go over there and talk to birdman."

But the stupidity does not end there of course. After being in slavery for hundreds of years, then freed, then seeing the burning bush protect them, then walking through the middle of a divided sea, and finally reaching the other side, the people were becoming restless. I have to slap myself to understand this. So Moses goes up the mountain to directly talk to God and be given the 10 Commandments. But guess what, Nathan convinces the people that they need a gold bull to worship. At this point I am saying "What in the wide world of sports is going on?" So then its an all out party. That is until Moses walks back down the mountain with the commandments. My character would now be yelling "I told ya'll he was going to be one angry Hebrew!" So, Moses throws the commandments at them and a ruckous ensues killing many of the people who had turned to sin.

But Moses finally is thinning them out by the end and they are walking like a normal group toward the promise land. But Moses doesn't make it. It is time for him to ride the golden escalator. He got the group there, and then it is up to them. This is why I love this movie.

For most people, you have parents, grandparents, teachers, coaches etc. that make an
effort to guide you and give you good advice. Now I know some adults are not good role models and actually are harmful to children. However, many of us do have people around us to give good advice. Somewhere along the line, we all have at least one person that reaches out to us and attempts to help us follow the right path through life. But just like the end of the "10 Commandments", someone can lead you to the promise land and show you where its at, but the decision is up to you from that point on as to what kind of life you decide to lead.

Have a wonderful Easter and enjoy the the "10 Commandments".

I understand why some other schools hate us. We hate donkeys. Why do we hate donkeys? Because we kick ass.

When I was a kid growing up, I quickly grew to love playing ball. I loved baseball, basketball, and football. I was actually in Houma, LA the night Carolina won Dean Smith's first National Championship in the Superdome. It was crazy. I really wanted to be there but my father could not get tickets. But I watched that game with certain passion. In the end of course, a freshman named Michael Jordan won my allegiance with a last second shot. As I watched Dean Smith hugging his players, I was more glad for him than I was anyone. I just knew he had to be a really nice man. After that game, I knew UNC was where I was going. When it was time for me to start applying to colleges, I applied to one.

My time at UNC was incredible. If you enjoy sports, the time I was there was the greatest ever. We had great teams in men's and women's basketball, women's soccer, football, and multiple other sports in which we had great teams. We won the Men's national championship in basketball, the women's national championship in basketball with a last second three pointer,the woman's soccer team one 4 national championships, and the football team won several bowl games and climbed into one of the top 15 programs in America. It was great.

When you go to UNC or even if you are just a fan, there is an allegiance that exist like no other. Carolina fans worry about Carolina athletics. Most of the other ACC schools worry about there own school first, but immediately worry about Carolina. The concept of the "ABC" (Anybody but Carolina) is very real. We have always been the ONE team, that all of the other schools worry about and hate. Most of the ACC schools consider us their MAIN rival. I had a State fan to actually email after the ACC tournament to give me grief about Carolina NOT winning the ACC tournament. See my point?? State did not make into the NIT tournament, but he was more worried about what Carolina was doing. In case you're keeping score, he has had a bad day since the spring of 1983.

But it is great to be a Tarheel. We don't have the best team every year, but we almost always have at least a good chance to win. Some fans have argued with me on occasion that they would rather not get to the final four than lose. I usually congratulate them on their schools achievement of almost never putting them in that situation. I mean really, think about it...DOOK has had much success over the last 20 years, but other than that, you can add up the accomplishments of all the other ACC teams combined and you will not get the pedigree that Carolina has created.

As I watched the National Championship, I realized how historical the game was. It is not very likely that Carolina will make a run through the tournament like they did this year. We won every game by a comfortable margin. They had a well balanced game plan, every player made considerable contributions, and they probably played the best defense they had played all year. So let's sit back, relax and enjoy the fact that we have so much to be proud of. Just enjoy that the fact that it's a great day to be a Tarheel.

K-Rob's State of the Union

Good evening Americans.

Tonight I come to you with a lot on my mind. I don't understand some of the things our country is dealing with right now. I don't understand why we let some of the things we allow to happen. I want to address some of them tonight.

To start with, our economy is certainly in a critical and fragile state. Its hard to believe that with a country that has the economic diversity that exist in the United States, we could ever get in the situation we are in. It is unbelievable that so many occupations, so many professions, and so many industries in general are tanking but I do not believe any one person or one group is to blame.

We have had incredible success as a nation. To think that 1776 is the official beginning of our nation, its astonishing to consider what we have accomplished. We are one of the youngest industrialized nations in the world and we have found vast success. However, if some things do not change, society as we know could change considerably in the years to come.

Multiple factions of our economy is in shambles. Look at the auto industry; now think about how often you hear someone say, "I'm getting me a Ford Focus or a Chevy Malibu". No, they are debating a Toyota Camry or a Honda Accord. So, here is the pitch from the "Big 3"....

"We have made an inferior product for the past 25 years and we knew it. Many faithful Americans have grown weary of many of the models that we produce and now buy foreign automobiles. Although, our vehicles have advanced in almost every way, we have not been able figure out a way to get considerably better gas mileage. We really feel bad about that, so could you please give us $50 billion?"

I have not bought anything in Wal-Mart in five years that says "Made in America". Is that because we are not capable of producing these things? No, its because other countries pay their workers .50 an hour and we pay people $65 an hour to press a button all day. Now, with the various "free-trade" agreements, we are losing jobs everyday. You can go on EBAY right now, order a pair of shoes from China that would cost you $125 and buy them for $20. Even with shipping and handling being $25, you still get them for less than half. I bought a pair of Air Jordans several years ago and paid $15 for them. The point is, if you can pay $20 for a pair of shoes, what are they paying to make them?.....$3?

The industry I like the best is banking. Now I know a lot of bankers that are good people to do business with. But seriously, we bail out a bank and they give everyone a bonus or take them on a trip? They are getting ready to beat a 75 year old widow's ass in Saudi Arabia because she had two young men to bring her a loaf of bread. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29601858/ I mean really, what in wide world of sports is going on? Bernie Madoff was being punished by staying in an $7.5 penthouse while he worked out a deal to tell every damned thing he knows. You know what Bernie's new nickname is since he has been "allegedly" laundering money for organized crime, including Russian and Italian mob?? BULLSEYE You know that $62 million that his wife wants to keep because she so wisely invested her own money to build up her own investment portfolio? They need to divide that money up, along with any other money they find around the world,then based on the percent that each individual lost, and give them all some money back. Let Bernie be the damned greeter at a grocery stored for $8 an hour, instead of some poor guy he duped.

Another issue at hand is the criticism of our president. Now, I am not saying that we should agree with everything each president supports or proposes. However, I do not agree with every issue becoming politically partisan. Are you 100% against the stimulus package? Ok, but I don't think doing nothing is the right thing either. Do I believe that we should have spent $95 million going back 2 administrations for the study of what products that can be produced with trees? Not a chance. But I do believe in spending money domestically before I believe in this: http://www.nationalpriorities.org/costofwar_home The sad truth is, it has become apparent to me that no bill is passed without multiple senators getting grants or funding for pet projects in their respective states. "You want me to vote for a bill?....Ok, we need $15 million to study the exact path of several species of birds that fly through our state going south." Often times, you find out there is a REASON the senator wants that grant. You later find out it was for a contributor, or a cousin, or a buddy etc.

I am 100% in support of our troops. They should be commended for the sacrifices they have made in the last 8 years. Their families should also be commended. Many of them have also made a lot of money as a result of the war; combat pay, no taxes, re-signing bonuses etc. However, thousands of the heroes that serve our distinguished military have come home severely injured or not at all. But has any military official, soldier, brigade, or even division come close to what some of the companies in the private sector such as Halliburton have made?

I am tired of the CRAZY RIGHT and I am tired of the LIBERAL LEFT. If the majority of American citizens are somewhere in the middle, they need to continue to implement the policies for America. I know there is considerable debate concerning stem-cell research. But I can almost guarantee you this, if someone who is opposed to it develops Parkinson's disease or Multiple Sclerosis, they will gladly take any medication that is created from the use of stem-cells. That does not mean that I believe in killing children or cloning human beings. Hell, two of me would be the end of civilization as we know it.

People want to make political parties for America the issue. But, I am here today to tell you that politics is not the issue at hand. Our issue is the categories of rich and poor are spreading further apart. The middle class is working harder, making less, and shrinking every day. I disagree with any American paying 28%, 33%, or more in taxes on what they make a year. That is freaking ridiculous. It should not cost each individual in America 1/3 of what they make for this country to operate. I also think there needs to be some compromise with the health care system.
I hear people all the time say, "Well, wealthy people should not have to pay for the health care of everyone else". I agree 100%, but guess what, at most state supported hospitals, people are not turned away because they don't have any money. Therfore, we are all paying for it anyway. I have a good friend that took his mother to the hospital a while back. She met with two doctors, they took blood, and she had an MRI. They knew she was eligible for medicaid and her damned bill was $10,000! Things like that are really what is wrong with health care.

I will just be glad when we see a measurable and sustainable glimmer of hope. I look forward to looking into the faces of so many people I know and NOT seeing overwhelming anxiety. We will get through this. The world is pulling for us. Except for Iran, which is a nation possessing nuclear weapons but still have poverty, polio, and wipe their asses with their hands. Oh, and North Korea, which is led by an angry midget who has watched the children of that country decrease in size on average of 5" per child. Maybe he thinks he can eventually be the center on the Korean Olympic basketball team. Other than that, I think the rest of the literate world realizes that it is imperative for us to succeed. And we will. We are the the United States of America. We have been down before and gained recovery. We will be back again. But for now, we all just have to hang in there, hope for the best, and pray for God to indeed, bless the United States of America.

Christmas is the time of year

I grew up in a family that put a lot of importance on Christmas. We have always gotten together, shared gifts, eat, and just enjoyed time spent together. I had a
wonderful Christmas every year but one. That is a story unto itself.



When we were growing up, we did not get a toy every time we went to town like lots
of children do now. We didn't even ask because the answer was no. However, when it
came to Christmas we got a ton of toys. Even during years that were really difficult
for my mother and father, we had great Christmas'. In 1982, things were almost as bad
as they are now, but Travis and I never knew it. We had baseball gloves, bicycles, and sticks. Back then, that was all you needed to be happy. But that Christmas we got an Atari! We were the first kids to get an Atari. I also got a BB gun. During the worst financial time of my father's life, we still had a wonderful Christmas.



When I was about 12 or 13 we started decorating our home. We did a little decorating to start with. Then the next year, a little more. Then over the next 20 years, it just got ridiculous. We put up over 50,000 lights a year now. We have Santas, toy soldiers, Charlie Brown kids, Blow up things, and if you stand still in our yard long enough, we will wrap lights around your ass before you know what happened. It is a lot of work. But you know what, we don't put them up for us. Travis and I like them, but sometimes the amount of effort to put them up is overwhelming. We simply put them up for everyone else. If we did not put those lights up one year, a lot of people would be devastated. So, to keep the world a better place, we still put them up.

Our father was someone that everyone would turn to for help. He was easy to talk
to and always gave everyone the benefit of the doubt. I can't remember a Christmas that he did not raise money for needy family. For about his last 10 years, every Christmas he would bag fruit and ride around our community and give it to the elderly people in our community. It was amazing how many of them came to his funeral. Its also amazing that almost all of those people are passed away themselves.

Deddy loved the lights. He loved the process and he loved taking a moment to look
at what had been accomplished once we were finished. He loved that fact that others
enjoyed coming down Boyd Brafford Dr. and looking at all the Christmas light.

He is the main reason we still put the lights up. Maybe he does not even know that
we do it. But then again, maybe he does. And if he does, I know he is proud that we
still do it. Not a day goes by that I don't think about and miss my father. And for that, I will probably put those damned lights up for as long as I am physically able. I think I will also always love Christmas as much as he did.

God bless you and your family this Christmas and I hope the New Year brings all of you much prosperity, happiness and many many blessings.

The Choice

Soon, we have a choice.

I grew up in a family that was completely dependent on the economic status of the housing industry. At times in my life I can remember my mother and father struggling financially. Was it because they were lazy? Was it because they did not put forth enough effort? Of course not. It was because the economy was down and fewer homes were being built.

I can remember 1982. Yes Carolina and Dean Smith won the national championship; but other than that, life was hard. My parents had an incredibly difficult period. My father was still a brick mason and as a child I wondered why in the world he left for work when it was still dark. With the market being down and us living in an area where growth was a premium anyway, he bought a convenience store. What followed was LONG hours, 7 days a week, and $1.50 gas at a time when people were used to .75 a gallon. At that time unlike the last several years, people stopped driving. The store was barely making anything. On top of that, one night we were robbed at a time when $100 was like $10,000 to us.

One evening a man came into the store and says "Bob, I'm moving to Louisiana to work on an oil rig". After some contemplation, my father decided to go with him and find out more about the opportunity. He landed in Houma, LA and decided that opportunity was better than no job at all back home. For several months, we lived without my father. My mother ran the store and again, we did the best we could. Then after it became unbearable for our family to be apart, we all moved to be with him. Those were some of the most terrible months of my life. I learned what it was like to be an outsider at school. A few ass whoopings after I got there, the other kids left me alone. We all felt like we had moved to Sudan and had no way of communicating. So, after about 5 months and the new school year fast approaching, they decided to move back home. Only I did not know that deddy was going back alone.

When he went back, his brothers and some of their friends went with him to Alabama and they watched the Talladega 500 together. After the race, they begged him to come home but he insisted it was just the best thing to do. He had not left them but a few hours and the motor blew in his truck. After his motor was rebuilt, he continued to Louisiana. He never talked much about it, but that had to be the loneliest ride in the history of the world. He arrived in Louisiana and said, "You know what, to hell with this" and he turned around and drove home.

They had rented our house while we were gone to make ends meet. So, instead of forcing the renter to move, we moved in with our great grandparents, Grannie and Papa Ferrell. They had a tiny two bedroom home. Mama and deddy slept in one bedroom, they slept in another, I slept on the couch, and Travis slept on the loveseat. But you know what, we were home dammit, and that's all that mattered.

As unbelievable as all this seems, it did get worse. A couple of months after we were home, the house that we had called home that was being rented, burned to the ground. We didn't lose everything because we were not living there. But mama had stored a bunch of things in the basement closets while we were away. Not anything of real value, but memories that would have lasted a lifetime.

Now I know what you are thinking...."Damn, what's next, all their dogs died?, a meteor killed our whole family?, an angry midget jumped on Grannie Ferrell at Winn Dixie and gave her rabies?"...but that's not what happened. I recall coming home from school one day and we got in the car with mama and she said "I have a surprise for you, your deddy started digging the footing for a new house today. I think he's lost his damned mind, but nevertheless, he has started a new house". He worked on that house himself more than he ever worked on a house at anytime. He would work during the day, then he would work on the house all night. To be honest with you, it is unbelievable how he was able to do it, but he did. Mama worked on it, family and friends helped, and 6 months later, we had another house. His worked picked up, and gradually over the next 10 years, life got better all the time.

You may be wondering what this article has to do with anything? But it does. It has to do with now. My point is, our country is really in a crisis. I talk to people everyday that won't to blame somebody else. Our economy has significant problems, we have asked our military to give years of their lives to a difficult and challenging war, families are struggling like they haven't since the early 80's, it seems every other country around the world is pissed of at the US, and it seems to me that some people are more interested in disagreeing than they are in finding common ground on almost every issue.

But I still believe in America. I am grateful that I was born here. We were built on the unique character of the various individuals from all over the world. Sure we have problems, sure I disagree with some of the way things are done here, but we are still America. I can get in my car, drive to the store, and I probably will not be blown up by a car bomb or have my damned head sawed off with a dull knife. My wife does not have look like a ghost on Halloween to walk outside so that she is not lined up on a wall while people stone her to death. Everybody has a chance here. Does that chance vary from person to person? Sure it does, but that is just life. I had a teacher's aid in the third grade that taught piano lessons. I once asked her if she could give me lessons. She said no, her schedule was full. I knew even then as a child that she looked at me as poor white trash. She could deny that all she wanted, but that was the reason. Little did that bitch know that one day I could grow up, do good in school, graduate from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, and actually make a life for myself. She thought I would work in a run-down garage, have greasy ass hands, and my name tag would have the nickname she imagined for me.."Goober". She didn't think I had a chance, but I did. So, some things change. But I imagine her ass is still big, she has about 1 friend and that's a cat named "Zippy", and she's still a bitch. Some things stay the same.

We soon have a choice that will have serious ramifications for our nation. I know, I know...if you are a democrat reading this, the republicans suck. However, if you are republican reading this, the democrats suck. If you are Libertarian, you can't make a decision, so everybody sucks. But I implore you to vote. Don't just vote, but vote your conscious, and vote for candidates that you think will be the best for our nation, state, and even locally. I'm not even suggesting that you vote for any one person, I am just telling you to vote. Some of the candidates that I have voted for in the past have won and been really good, some have not been so good. Some of the candidates that I have voted for have lost, and the person that was elected did OK, and some didn't do good at all. Our right to vote in a democratic society is a privilege. There are countries all over the world that are older than the US by thousands of years that have yet to develop a relevant way to function and live as a society. To me, that is ridiculous. People hate America because our society allows for opportunity. I realize that we have problems, and we have things that could certainly be approved. But when you think about our problems, think about other countries. You think our dollar is weak?....I can buy a Coca Cola in Jamaica for a quarter, or $43,000,000 in Jamaican money. Think our government is screwed up?...Consider that Pakistan is working hard to develop nuclear weapons while at the same time, some of their citizens have polio. Zimbabwe has a leader that has become the king and attempted to kill the one guy that was going to run against him. Only Cuba has a nation built around democracy, respects the middle class, and provides a wonderful environment to live out a long fruitful life.....and I am typing this as I ride through the 5th dimension on my unicorn. You think we should drill offshore? You think we should utilize wind for energy? Want to insists that car companies make ALL cars more efficient? Want oil companies to not be able to charge us whatever they like? Want regulations in place so that people need to actually be qualified before someone loans them money? Want your taxes to be fair and reasonable? Want your small business to be given opportunity and not be hindered by stupid regulations and unfair taxes? How about schools?....you want people in place that are supportive of the school system? Well, its simple, get off your ass and vote.

I am optimistic that as a nation, even though we don't agree, if we all vote, there is a greater chance that our choice will be a good one. I think that we are going to come out of this slump we are in. We did in 1982, we did during the recession in 1991, and we will this time. Believe me, nobody hopes that more than I do.

Soon, we have a number of key choices to make.....try to make a good one each time you vote for a candidate to fill a political office. I know what a lot of you are probably thinking "I really think K-Rob should run for office". However, the problem with that would be I would immediately start passing out ass whoopings and lollipops, and guess what....I'm fresh out of lollipops.

So vote for your town, county, city, state, and nation. Vote for your kids, your wife or husband, your parents, or the future of your family. Vote because you believe in democracy and you are still proud to be an American. But most of all, just vote dammit because I said so.

"Two Years, Too Long in the Making" by Russell Moore

First, let me thank a long-time friend, K-Rob Brafford, for lending space on his website so that I could write my first-ever blog entry. Maybe one day I’ll even learn how to use an iPod and drive a stick-shift car (don’t hold your breath on that last one).

A few years ago, I would wake up bleary-eyed at 3:00 or 4:00 a.m. on Saturday mornings to accompany the now ex-girlfriend to her triathlons. Just a faithful spectator with a camera, and something to read for those long stretches when she and other friends would disappear from the transition area to the race course. But one thing surprised me and made me laugh every time I saw it. Why were so many of these people so nervous before the event, sprinting to the bathroom so fast it looked like they were trying to qualify for the race itself? After all, these were some of the healthiest, fastest people I’ve ever seen. They were ready. Why the butterflies?

Then in 2005 I raced in my first triathlon and felt what they always felt, no doubt in large part to the three- and four-foot seas I saw in the ocean when I walked past the dunes to the starting point. I still haven’t been able to shake the butterflies, though mine aren’t nearly as bad as the ones others experience. Now I just wish I had been able to feel the butterflies more in the last two years.

To put it mildly, 2005 could have ended better, and as spring 2006 continued its endless grind and office-work piled up to overwhelming heights, I decided that training for another triathlon would be one way to distract me and pull me from the wreckage of my personal and professional life. I set my sights on the Sandestin Triathlon: a half-mile swim, 20-mile bicycle ride, and a four-mile run. Just long enough to test my physical ability and my mental resolve, both of which had waned too much by that point in time. Within two months, I was slowly improving and the goal was slowly coming into focus. When my 5K running time unexpectedly dropped more than two minutes, it changed my mindset from thoughts of You can do this to You Will Do This, and Faster Than You Thought.

Then, six weeks before the race, a fall in a creek bed during a hike in North Carolina sidelined me for three weeks. Though I was lucky I didn’t break my neck or back, I remember feeling more disappointed that Sandestin would have to wait another year. I later finished a sprint triathlon that fall, but it was no consolation for what my clumsiness had cost me. Increasing the training and weightlifting for two months, I felt better than ever – until one day I felt abdominal pain and had to stop almost all physical activity. Though my doctor disagreed with me, I knew it was a hernia. Another surgeon later told me I had torn two spots in my abdominal wall. How ironic, I thought, in getting my body in the best shape of my life, I’ve broken it.

Postponing surgery seven months for an office that couldn’t function unless I gave my heart and soul to it day and night, I still held out hope that I could recover in time to compete in the 2007 Sandestin race. But recovery was slow and painful, and once again I had to cancel my best intentions. Then doubts arose in my mind. Will you ever be able to finish another triathlon? Why were you cursed with so little athleticism and durability? If you start training again, what will go wrong next time, and will you be able to handle it again?

It took several more months, with fits and starts, before I could consistently train and handle the same physical demands I exacted on myself two years ago. Slowly but surely, I began achieving what I used to do – and a little more. Over the long run, practice went according to plan – despite slowdowns for a strained back, strained shoulder, bronchitis, and two bouts of heat exhaustion that have apparently reduced my tolerance for high temperatures and humidity. Registered and ready for the 2008 Sandestin Triathlon, all I had to do was execute. My parents were ready to meet me there and watch the race, and two close friends told me later that they were going to drive all the way to Destin and surprise me. It would be a fitting milestone on the weekend before my 35th birthday. At least that’s what I thought.

I couldn’t decide what was more ridiculous: the fact that Tropical Storm Faye was over Destin the very day I was supposed to race, or that she followed the same path from Orlando to Destin that I would have taken. What odds. Now I know that Sandestin is a cursed race for me, and its cancellation put me in a foul mood, to say the least. Six months of work, and no chance to prove myself in one of Florida’s most popular USA Triathlon competitions. At that point, saying you tried is not enough, you have to actually do it and finish it.

So without hesitation, feeling stubborn as hell, I registered for an end-of-season race to try and make up for more than two years of frustrations and cancellations. One last chance for this year to finally get it right, and it happens this Sunday – God forbid the weather turns on me again. The race is longer than I originally bargained for – the swim is almost a mile long, the cycling route more than 24 miles, and the run is 6.2 miles. I’ve had to accelerate my training schedule and push my body more than I wanted just to have a chance to finish the race, but thankfully it has held up so far. Two things fuel the motivation to double the length of my longest-ever swim, run two more miles than I ever could, and cycle a course with two causeways. First, a sense of urgency will move you forward quickly when you only have six weeks to prepare. But just as important is where I will race – Melbourne – where I was born and raised. The course is two miles from the houses I grew up in. I’ll swim next to the library where my mother used to take me every week, and the civic center where my father used to take me to toy-train shows. Then cycle past the house where my grandmother lived and helped care for me, and over the causeway my father and I used to cross on our old beach cruisers. Recalling these memories, now more than twenty years old but still vivid in my mind like they happened yesterday, it’s only natural to think You’ve waited too long, and worked harder than you ever have – Don’t screw this up in your hometown.

If it ends the way I want, what is ordinary for hundreds of thousands of triathletes will be a significant accomplishment and a redemption of sorts for me, if only for one day. I wasn’t built for this kind of thing. Twenty years ago, my asthma was bad enough that my doctor excused me from running a single mile within the national standards used in my physical education class. I can still remember how hard it was to finish that one mile, which seemed to go on forever. On Sunday, I have a chance to cover 31 miles of water and land without stopping. A chance, 30 or 40 years from now, to pick up a photograph of me crossing the finish line and look back on what I accomplished. To anyone who ever doubted me – like the interviewer who offered the job to someone else, or the woman who made me feel insignificant and unworthy of her time – a chance to say F**k you. I can do this, and you can’t.

At last, when the race official blows the whistle on Sunday and releases us to dive in the water, I’ll feel the butterflies and crush them all at the same time. Just the way I want, just not the way I originally planned.