Intervention

I really like the show “Intervention”. It is both dramatic and idiotic at the same time. I think the show fascinates me because people will let a vice or an addiction take priority over everything in their life; over their job, their church, their family, their children, their friends. With shame, I must admit that out of complete frustration with some of the people on that show, I often find myself having very little sympathy. I have asked Travis several times to inquire about getting me on that show and he says that he does not think that occasional outburst of angry words, saying things at inappropriate moments, or addiction to Coca Cola would get me on the show. One of the things I see in this world that breaks my heart the most is when someone no longer cares about anything around them. I think someone like that truly has a lost soul.

My father comes to mind when I watch “Intervention”. Not because he had a vice, but because nothing was more important to him than not letting something stupid interfere with the aspects of his life that were important; Mama, Travis, me, his mother and father, his mother-in-law, his brothers and all the rest of his family. His job was never compromised in any way by an addiction. He never missed a ball game because he wanted to sit at home and drink beer. He never let his family down because he wanted to party. A party for Deddy as he grew older consisted of him, Uncle Boyd, Sammy, and Randy sitting around our garage or down at Sammy’s talking. That was the party. There is so much in this world that a person can offer, and many people do. I think we often dismiss just how important you can be to someone else. You may be the best Tee ball coach, best teacher, best Sunday school teacher, best waitress, or the best “anything” to someone for the remainder of their life. But you should also keep in mind as different situations occur, that you can also be the worst of something.

For the most part, we all want to do something in this world to make a difference. Of course, we can’t all be something that is publicly awesome, but that does not mean that what you are to the people around you is not just as important. Every one of you reading this has made a difference in this world to someone. I truly believe that if people had more regard for each other and respected each other’s differences, the world would be a much better place. I honestly think that many of our problems in society stem from judging others. Don’t get me wrong, I believe each person is entitled to an opinion, but I think we often forget that everyone else has the same entitlement.

For many of us, the idea of truly disappointing the people we love the most is a considerable fear. My mother and father could have punished me anyway they wanted when I was growing up and I could live with it. However, if I thought they were disappointed in me, it grieved me severely. I was accused one time of doing something that I didn’t do in the 8th grade. It worried me so much that it made me physically sick, even when I was admonished of the wrongdoing. I had Linda Graves in the 8th grade and I thought she was never going to like me again. She came and got me out of my first period class the next morning and talked to me in private. Even though she was standing there telling me that everything was OK and to stop worrying so much, I could not even look at her. Twenty-five years later, that moment in my life still chokes me up. On a lighter note, I also had Mrs. Ralston in the 8th grade and I could do nothing wrong according her. I could have shot a classmate with a taser gun and she would have said they deserved it. The best of what someone does with their life is remembered more than anything else. Often, the best of someone’s life varies depending on who you ask. Deddy was never a famous person, nor was he wealthy. He never held a political office, nor did he have a job that was considered “prestigious”. However, he was great to many people at a lot of things. The “Bears” or “Calvins” could not have had a better T-Ball or Little League coach 30 year ago. He was a great son dedicated to his mother and father. He was a wonderful brother and in an instant he could point out the BEST qualities in each of his brothers. He was an absolutely great friend, always there when someone was down in any way or needed advice. More than anything else, he was the best father Travis or I could have ever had. But if you asked me if one attribute was most significant of my father, it would be his compassion. He was able to forgive people as much as anyone I have ever been around. Someone could live like a deranged pirate for years and Deddy could still find good in them if they decided to turn their life around.

Twelve years ago today, September 13th, 2000, Deddy passed away at 1:30 in the afternoon. Its odd holding your father’s hand as he passes away. I used to think of it as the end of his life, but now I think of it as the beginning of his eternity. For almost all of us, we may never do one thing that makes a difference to the entire world. But you can make a difference to your family, friends, and community. For Deddy, that was the entire world.

For several years now I have been writing a blog about things in my life or significant events occurring in the world. Most of the time, the blogs are directly related to me or my family. I don’t write the blog because of all the fame and fortune that comes with it, I do it because I enjoy it. But in the recent months, a number of very serious situations have taken place in our community and I felt compelled to write about them. Maria and I have been together for a long time. We started dating right after WWII. Growing up in Harnett County, we have always had “communities”. Over the years, many of those communities have blended together. Things have certainly changed over the years. Rival high schools have merged together to become one, the population has grown to where you no longer really know where one area ends and another begins. But overall, one of the greatest attributes of our area is still a sense of community. To me, that is one of the proudest aspects of living in our area. Over a month ago, Allison Upchurch went into the hospital because she was having some medical concerns. After an evaluation, initial test indicated several signs that she may have had Multiple Sclerosis. Further evaluations have indicated that it is another illness. Regardless, within weeks, Allison’s situation had become very serious. She spent many weeks at Duke University Medical Center and has now been moved to a recovery facility in Atlanta, Georgia. I have to be quite honest, I have known Allison for many years, but I do not feel like I know her that well. However, she and Maria have been very good friends their entire lives. You can tell by all of the compassionate postings online that she is dearly loved by so many people and she has an infinite number of very best friends. She comes from a family that has always been very involved in their “community”. Her mother Faye and her aunt Kay are twin sisters. They married brothers, Benny and Durwood….they are not twins. Faye and Kay have another sister named Libby. This family is always everywhere that is important to their community. When something happens, good or bad, you can rest assure that Kay, Faye, and Libby will show up. The whole family have been members of Spring Hill United Methodist Church for many years. Her sister Angie has been right by her side through this entire ordeal. She married Bradley Smith and they have two wonderful children, Logan and Conner. I just can’t say enough about how wonderful her family is. About a month ago, Janice Harrington started having problems with her vision. After further evaluation, it was determined that she had a mass that was pressing on her optic nerve. It was also discovered that she has breast cancer. I have known Janice since she was a teacher and I was a student at Benhaven. But I have really gotten to know her over the years while Maria and I have dated. It has always been known that Janice was extremely tender hearted. She has been that way as long as I have known her. But honestly, she has been as tough as anyone I have ever seen as she faces her situation. She had surgery this week and the surgeons were very encouraged with the results. More than anything else I have seen from Janice is how strong her faith is. I think it’s a testament to everyone around her that she has such a determined and faithful attitude. Spring Hill is a church that is extremely committed to “community”. I have been going there since Maria and I were married. The members are loyal to the church, loyal to the community and they always rally around people going through difficult situations. When my father died, I don’t know how many plates of food, coolers of ice and drinks, condolence cards, etc that my family received from people in that community and Spring Hill Church. There are a lot of people in the church and in the community that are going through hard times financially, physically, and probably spiritually. But you can rest assure that the people of Spring Hill are faithful to God, they trust in the Lord Jesus, and they support each other with everything they have. I had started writing this blog a few weeks ago. Tonight, Spring Hill United Methodist Church had a prayer service. Pastor Terry Williams and Benny Oakes led the service and ironically, the mention of faith within our “community” was mentioned many times. After the service, I was talking to Benny and he spoke about how impressed he was with the faith of the people of Spring Hill. Allison’s situation is certainly serious. Janice’s situation is certainly serious. There are others too that are also going through very difficult times. Delano Holder, Bertie Butler, and Kathy Patterson are just a few more people dealing with health issues. But I hope they all know and their families know that on a constant basis, I hear people talking about praying for all of them. With all that is going on in the world, the people that need us the most are the most important people to all of us. It’s also worth noting that Allison or Janice’s situation could happen to any of us at any given time. That is the reason I wanted to write this particular blog. I want people to know about Spring Hill and how wonderful the community is. As this community has prayed for other communities and people all over the world, it needs everyone’s prayers and support. So my hope is that this particular blog will get circulated as much as possible. I hope you read this and take the time to put Spring Hill on the prayer list at YOUR church, wherever that may be. I encourage you to commit specific time each day to pray for the people in your own community that need it. Pray at youth meetings, pray at circle meetings, pray in your car riding down the road by yourself. Just pray. God has a plan, and I can’t think of anyone less worthy than myself to start discussing what I think God’s plan is. But he has a plan. I am a firm believer in the power of prayer, especially in groups. Matthew 18:20 "For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them." So, here is what I ask you to do. You send this link to as many people as you can think of and ask them to do the same. I honestly don’t care how you do it…copy it, cut and paste it, or whatever means you may want to use. But let’s make every effort to send out prayers for everyone that we can think of that needs prayer sent their way at this time.

The Essence of Success

"Successful is the person who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much; Who has gained the respect of children; Who leaves the world better than they found it; Who has never lacked appreciation for the Earth's beauty; Who never failed to look for the best in others and who always gave the best of themselves" This past week I saw a picture circulating of Kobe Bryant, Lebron James, and Michael Jordan. The picture clearly indicated how much more accomplished Michael Jordan was than Kobe and Lebron have been combined. We all know that Jordan is the best basketball player to ever live and when you see him in the middle of all of his trophies, its an impressive sight. It reminded me of a picture that we took of Deddy not long before he passed away. All of his awards, trophies, and honors placed around him was quite impressive. But the thing about his awards that I find most impressive is that for him, they were more than just recognition for accomplishments, they were memories of how full his life was. Deddy was voted the MVP in Baseball for Harnett County his Junior Year in High School. He won championships in T-Ball, Little League, and Junior League as he coached Travis and I for many years. About 2 months before he died, he was voted into the NC Hall of Honor for his work with the recreation department over many years. But these accomplishments only scratch the surface of my father's dedication. He used to work every day, come home, grab something to eat and off we would go. I don't know how many miles he drove over the years picking up other kids, but it had to be to the moon and back. Then he would coach all evening. For many years, he coached Travis' team and my team. Those had to be LONG days. And he didn't just coach for his two boys, he coached for all the kids that played for him over the years. He coached many of the kids so many years, I think many of them grew to see him as much more than just a coach. From time to time, I'll see someone that I played ball with and they will always mention Deddy. Not a day goes by that I do not think of my father. Although he did not live to see his 49th birthday, the life he lived during the time he was here was remarkable in many ways. I think some people get caught up in their accomplishments. It would be easy to get caught up in the idea that recognitions or awards reflect what type of person you are, but they don't. What gives awards credibility is the time, effort, and heart one puts into what they do. Deddy liked to win, and he did not like to lose, but he was satisfied with the outcome as long as he felt like everyone tried as hard as they could. There were many times when something did not turn out as I had hoped, and Deddy was always there to offer advice and encouragement. The last several years have been challenging for me in many ways. I can't tell you how much I wish I could have talked to him on many occassions. At my lowest points in life, he was always there to give me advice and help me to see a brighter day. Travis and I both had challenging times during our college years but to Deddy, failure was not an option. I contemplated taking a semester off my sophomore year at Carolina but he encouraged me to stick with it. Actually, it went more like this: "Deddy, I'm thinking of taking this semester off".....Deddy: "And do what?" Me: "I don't know, work?" Deddy: "No. Son, if you take a semester off, you might decide not to go back. You have worked your whole life for the opportunity to go to Carolina. Are you passing ONE class?" Me: "Yeah, I'm passing all of them. I'm actually doing fine but Statistics is incredibly difficult" Deddy: "Well, if you are passing all of your classes, you're not coming home. That's it." Honestly, I had felt so overwhelmed during that time that I did not know what to do. But after I had that conversation with him, I felt like a ton of rocks had been lifted from me. I don't really know why, because he basically forbid me to do what I thought I should do at the time. It was just his nature and reassurance that renewed my determination and confidence. Deddy commanded respect even though he was not forceful by nature. I think more than any awards or recognitions of achievement, what Deddy earned most in his life was respect. One of my friends was explaining to another friend one time why he understood my rationale for making every effort NOT to get into trouble. He said, "Have you seen Grizzly Adams?...Imagine him angry and on crack! That would be Robbie's Deddy if he got in trouble" I am so grateful that I had him for a father and its my prayer this Father's Day that he knows that. I hope all of you have a wonderful Father's Day. Enjoy time with your father while you can, because you never know when that opportunity will no longer exist. If you are a father, enjoy time with your children and make every effort to remind them that you will always be there for support. I had this picture framed with the "Essence of Success" under it and gave one to Travis and kept one for myself. Everytime I look at it and read it, I am reminded of just how successful Deddy was in the time he was here.

I Can Still Hear the Bell

Charlie Brown: Isn’t there ANYONE who knows what Christmas is all about?????

Linus: Sure, Charlie Brown, I can tell you what Christmas is all about……..lights, please……and there were shepherds, abiding in the field keeping watch over their flock by night. And the Angel of the Lord came upon them and said, ‘Fear not: for behold, I bring you tidings of great joy. For unto you is born this day in the City of David, a Savior, which is Christ the Lord’. And there was with the angel a multitude of heavenly hosts praising God and saying, ‘Glory to God in the highest; and on earth peace, good will toward men.’……That’s what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown.”

This has been quite a year. I have traveled all over the United States and Canada. It has been interesting to meet so many different people and see so many different places. I have enjoyed the experience but at the same time, I often get homesick. The “glamour” of travel is not always what it seems to be. Running through airports, driving on unfamiliar interstates in heavy traffic, constantly eating fast food and the list goes on. I have awakened numerous times in the early morning and forgotten where I was at for just a few minutes.

But you know what, overall it has really been a positive experience and I am honestly grateful to have the job. I have met some really nice people. I have met people from all walks of life from the CEO of the company to a guy working in a plant in Savage, Minnesota, to a guy who loads tires in Florida. Not only have I met these people, I feel like I have made some really good friends in the process.

I have traveled to some places that I have really liked. Salt Lake City is really nice. Port St. Lucie, Florida is also a really nice area. If I was not tied to family, friends, and church, I could live in Port St. Lucie. I have been to some really remote areas like Perth, Ontario and Edgefield, South Carolina. I asked a guy at the hotel in Edgefield if they had “wireless internet” service and I’m not sure if he had ever heard of the “internet” at all! But in all my travels, I really believe Dorothy was right, there is no place like home.

The last few years have put things in perspective for me more than they have ever been. It would probably surprise many of you that I have always been a person to pray a lot. But now, it’s more of a priority. Billy Graham has been an inspiration to me for many years and you can listen to hundreds of audio and video clips from archives on his website. http://www.billygraham.org He repeats several statements during his sermons that I take more to heart, like; “you have got to come to the cross” and “each one of us will stand ALONE before God and answer for our actions.” I am going to be honest, I have a lot of faith, but standing before God alone knowing that he knows everything I have ever even thought wrong is quite intimidating. He also is firm in stating that a person must acknowledge that Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior and he is the only reason we can be forgiven for our sins.

You know, God loves human beings more than people realize. We are held in higher regard than even angels. That is why he sent his son Jesus into the world, to save us from ourselves. I realize that we often do not understand God’s ways. I frequently find myself thinking about the life of Jesus. He was born under very unusual circumstances for that era and there are long periods during his life that we know almost nothing about. We know that he brought a message of forgiveness and peace. We also know that even though he was the Savior, he had a lot of anxiety during the last 24 hours of his life. As the Savior, he knew what he had to do, but he still struggled with what he knew was about to happen. Jesus said “Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done”, Luke 22:42. We should all take the time to stop, think, and reflect on the significance of the birth and life of Jesus.

Most of the people that know me are fully aware of how emotional I am. When I am sad, I am anguished. When I am happy, I am elated. When I am mad, do not get within 25 feet of me…..as a matter of fact, it’s probably best if I cannot visually see you even if you are not the cause of my anger. When I think about Christmas and the birth of Jesus, I am often simply overwhelmed and I don’t even know where it comes from. It’s a feeling of happiness and gratitude that I cannot explain.

I have a nephew who loves the movie the “Polar Express” and I have watched it several times. The premise of the movie is that the little boy does not really believe in Santa Claus but by the end of the movie he has a change of heart. For anyone that does not believe, they cannot hear Santa’s bells. But for everyone that does believe, they hear them perfectly clear. When he gets to the North Pole, Santa ends up picking him to receive the annual "first gift of Christmas". The little boy asks for one of the bells off the sleigh after he begins to actually hear them. The little boy loses the bell from a torn pocket but the next morning, Santa Claus has left him the bell as a Christmas present. The little boy and his sister can hear the bell, but his mother and father cannot. I often wonder if the movie has more meaning to it than the belief of Santa Claus. My favorite part of the movie is the last line…….

“At one time, most of my friends could here the bell, but as years passed it fell silent for all of them. Even Sarah found at one Christmas she could no longer hear its sweet sound. Though I have grown old, the bell still rings for me, as it does for all who truly believe.”

As we celebrate another Christmas, I can honestly say that not only can I hear the bell, but it seems to get louder every year. For me, that has nothing to do with gifts, malls, and a red suit, but everything to do with family, friends, and a baby born in a manger in the town of Bethlehem over 2,000 years ago.

I wish all of you a very Merry Christmas and I hope you find a sense of peace and happiness throughout the holiday season! I hope you also enjoy fond memories of loved ones that have passed away and you are able to make memories of your own that will live on for many years to come. May you all be truly blessed during the Christmas season.

Hoping for Brighter Day

I don’t understand what this world is coming to. It breaks my heart on a daily basis to watch the news. What are we becoming as a society?

I knew several years ago that the economy could not keep up the growth rate we had for many years. At some point, there had to be a slow down. But really, this bad? I have seen a real estate industry turned upside down. If your occupation has anything to do with housing, construction, development, or real estate, it is virtually impossible to even make a living. I cannot tell you how many people I know that used to work in housing industry in some capacity that are now doing something completely different. But many of them can’t even find something different. Sanford, NC used to be a thriving example of small town America. There was lots of industry, lots of plants and lots of jobs. If you want to see how different the world we live in now is, next time you ride through Sanford, take notice of how many large commercial buildings are completely vacant.

As an American, I am tired of walking into gas stations, grocery stores, and even church and seeing so much anguish on so many faces. The stress we face as a nation is overwhelming. We all keep hoping for things to turn around, jobs to come back, and the world that we have known for many years to just get back to normal. We seem to be on a never ending cycle of things getting worse by the day. I recently read that John Hammergren, the CEO of McKesson, the largest distributor of both pharmaceuticals and health care I.T. systems made $131 million dollars last year. Now I’m not saying this gentleman is a bad guy. I also don’t think we should start camping out in tents in front of his house. But it is disturbing to think that $131 million dollars is being paid to one person when it could be paying 4,366 people a yearly salary of $30,000. He makes $372,000+ per day if you wanted to know.

I was discussing the situation of America other day with a good friend of mine and he made a great acknowledgment. He said the only reason that the United States is not in an even more critical financial situation than we are, is that most of the rest of the world is in the same situation or worse.

I tell you one significant policy that I cannot understand that has been supported by both parties for many years now…..FREE TRADE. How in the world can America compete with a country that pays there workers $2 an hour or less? I just don’t see how free trade can ever help America. The price we pay for gas has tripled or quadrupled in the last 10 years. I would like to know how many products we EXPORT have tripled or quadrupled in price. My guess is that it would be very few or none, but nothing would be as significant as the oil America buys. We just signed a new free trade agreement with S. Korea. I just don’t see how America can compete in most situations with free trade.

As an American, I am just tired of seeing an entire society working so hard just to get by. I realize there are circumstances when many people live beyond their means, but I really think most people are not doing that anymore because they can’t. I think the fact that we hear more arguing about the situation and not more effort to come up with a solution frustrates me most of all. I don’t think most of America cares who or what party comes up with a solution that helps, we would just want to see something that works.

As many of you know, Uncle Boyd is probably the wisest man on the planet. He was discussing America’s situation with me a while back and he made another excellent point. He said that it seemed to him that for many years in American history, the candidates would fight it out in debates and elections just like they do now. However, when the voting was over and a winner was declared, everyone made more of an effort to focus on the best ways to move forward. Arguments were had, disagreements made, but in the end, compromises allowed for some sort of plan. In today’s world, it seems that compromising for the sake of America is not as important as “making a point”. I bet that if the salaries of our elected officials were based on approval ratings and performance, more decisions would actually be made that were truly in the best interest of the American people.

I often wonder, what is it going to take? How extreme do things need to get before we start to see improvement? It’s sad to know that Americans need jobs so bad and in the midst of our incredible need, we widen “free trade” even more. Wouldn’t it be great to know that multiple industries were going to put forth a considerable effort in the next 10 years to operate in the United States? There is an Industrial Park near where I live that has been in place for 7 or 8 years and has yet to be able to convince ONE company to build a plant. Our area would benefit tremendously if a company would build a plant and provide 300, 400, or 500 jobs.

Despite my frustrations and despite the fact that I see things happening everyday that really make me despondent, I still believe in America. I still think we are the greatest country in the world. But I also know that history has proven as far back as we have records, that no society has been the world “superpower” forever. If we don’t make more of an effort to reestablish some of the values that made us the leader of the free world, I am more concerned about the future of our country than I ever have been. But for now, my optimism remains resilient for America and I just pray that things will start getting better sooner than later.

September 13th

I don’t think we ever stop thinking about or loving people that have passed away before us. I think the pain of losing them subsides over time, but our love for them stays the same.

The last couple of years have been some of the most difficult years that our nation has ever faced. The economy has been terrible, people are struggling just to make ends meet, and we have had multiple devastating weather events all across the country. I watched a lot of TV on September 11th and it is still difficult to imagine that such a tragedy ever happened.

As many of you know, I have been traveling a lot this year with a new job. I am installing a software for Liberty Tire Recycling and I work for Thomas Womble. I have enjoyed getting to see a lot of this great nation we live in. I have been to Salt Lake City, Orlando, Port St. Lucie, Minneapolis, Buffalo, Lockport, Atlanta, Miami, Palm Beach, and multiple cities in between. I have even been into parts of Canada several times. Although I like my job and appreciate the opportunity, it’s still hard to be gone from home so much. Most of you that know my family know that driving to Sanford and leaving Harnett County for much of my life was considered a “trip”.

A lot of people hear about what I’m doing and think that it sounds glamorous and exciting. Well, it is nice getting to travel and see places, but it’s not glamorous unless you are on vacation. My days consist of me being at the plants and helping everyone learn the software. I have been really appreciative as to how nice everyone has been to me. I have truly met some nice people. Sometimes I eat lunch and dinner with people from the plant. But at night, when you are sitting in a strange hotel, in a city you are not familiar with and watching TV by yourself, it becomes a lot less glamorous.

I am a lot more sympathetic now of people that travel a lot in their occupation. You would not believe how much you get homesick and miss seeing everyone on a daily basis. But at the same time, I always remember to count my blessings and be grateful. I often think about what everyone back home is doing, where they are eating that night, and what is going on back home. As ridiculous as this sounds, I go on WRAL almost every day and check the weather for the week. I have no idea why, I just do. If I hear about storms in NC, I will go to WRAL and look at Doppler 5000 to make sure the storms are not where people I care about are located. I know it has been tough for Maria with me being gone so much, especially since we have a dog named “Charlie” that has to go outside 50 times a day! And when I leave, poor little Charlie don’t know if I am going outside for a minute, if I’m going somewhere for a few hours, or if he is not going to see me for 5 days! Its good too that I have a neighbor named "Art" that is retired from the Navy and he guards my house! He and his wife Elaine are also kind enough to take Charlie "out" a lot of times.

Another thing I do a lot while I travel is think about my father. Deddy passed away on September 13th, 2000. He certainly had times in his life when things were difficult, but he always worked hard to overcome any adversities that got in the way. I miss a lot of things about deddy, but the thing I miss the most is just sitting down and talking to him. He just had an easy way of talking about things. I can’t tell you how many times over the last 11 years that I would have given anything to have just asked him for advice. I read a book recently called “Heaven is For Real” about a little boy that died and went to Heaven. He met people in Heaven that he did not know about and had never met in his lifetime. He also explains that he had conversations with Jesus. It is a very compelling book to read. I often wonder what deddy can see or if he can see anything from Heaven. If he can see things, he’ll know that I always behave and Travis never does. He actually got to see that before he passed away. I can remember his voice in my head like it was yesterday. Every time I think he ever called me on the phone he would say, “Robbie, this is your deddy”, like I did not know that immediately.

I had an appendectomy when I was in college. The night before, I had called home and told them I was in pain but I did not feel that bad. So, Mama called me about 50 times and I finally convinced them that I was OK. During the night, I got really sick several times and at the crack of dawn, Mama called me:

Mama: Robbie, how you feel?
Me: Not too good?
Mama: You going to class?
Me: Not today
Mama: OK, I’ll check on you later.

(Then she calls Deddy and 30 seconds later………)

Me: Hello?
Deddy: Robbie, this is your deddy, we’re on the way

Then he hung up. No arguing, no “how do you feel?”, just “We’re on the way”. Its hard to believe that during that time, we never even locked our doors in the dorm. But an hour later, Mama and Deddy walked in without knocking and the story continues. Mama pointed at my roommate Brandon and said, “Bob, LOOK, Brandon’s hair don’t mess up while he sleeps! That is amazing!”…..and deddy said, “Yeah, he’s got that kind of hair…...the kind that grows on a hog's ass!” Then they both proceeded to laugh AT Brandon and not WITH him! But my roommate knew how they were and he just laughed. That evening, I was having my appendix removed.

Deddy had a good nature about him that allowed him to say things to people that would have probably been offensive coming from anyone else. But Deddy was really tender-hearted and he would never want to hurt someone’s feelings and I think everyone knew that. I also know that today a lot of people are thinking about him. Just like clockwork, I have talked to Maria this morning and Jason early today. I know Mama, Travis, his brothers, his Mama, and the rest of our family think about Deddy today. I don’t know if I’ll ever understand why his life had to end the way it did, but you know, there are a lot of people who have passed away early in life. I always remember that Jesus was only in his early 30’s when he died. I don’t think a person’s life is measured by how many years they were here, but what they did in the time they were. As I travel this country from city to city, no matter where I am in this world on September 13th, I will always remember and appreciate everything deddy did for me. I think there are a lot of people that probably feel the same way.

Father's Day is really a good day. It gives us an opportunity to honor a person in our life that has done so much for us. I know how much my father did for me in his life. When deddy passed away, not only did I lose a father, but I lost my most reliable adviser, one of my biggest supporters, a considerable resource for courage, and a person that always had faith in me no matter what.

Deddy always made sure that Travis and I gave thought to our decisions and strongly
encouraged us to choose right from wrong. I always listened to him, but Travis...well, that was often another story! But when we did not make good decisions, he was not afraid to let us know it. He was not a person that would go into a tirade of anger and yelling. But whether he knew he it or not, he could look at you and make you feel so guilty about something that you never wanted to have that feeling again. I have friends that would have never wanted to let MY father down.

To me, deddy had so many attributes I admired that there are too many to name. His family always came first. He liked racing, he enjoyed playing golf, and he would drink a cold beer if he wanted to. But nothing in his life ever was more important to him than his responsibilities as a son, father, or husband. Deddy never missed a ball game because he decided to stay home and drink beer all night. He didn't miss going out to eat with Mama because he decided he wanted to party. He also did not do things begrudgingly that were everyday responsibilities. He did them because he wanted to.

I think deddy's most admirable attribute was the fact that he always felt everyone deserved a chance. He was willing to help people around him anyway he could. He tried to help many of those people multiple times. I can think of several individuals that he gave a lot more chances than I ever would have.

When deddy passed away, many people said to me "if you ever need any help with anything, just let me know". I have learned as time passed that many people say that assuming you will never ask for help. But you know what, I honestly have a lot to be grateful for when it comes to people in my life that I can talk to. Their are several people that I have turned to for advice and suggestions on many occasion. When I think about those individuals, I know that my father would be very appreciative to all of them.

Nobody lives forever. The circle of life is inevitable. However, I do regret that I did not get to spend more years with Deddy. But I'll tell you this, for 27 years of my life, I had the greatest father there ever was, and for that, I am truly grateful.