Smoothdaddy

My whole life I wanted to go to Carolina. As I grew older and actually learned about the educational aspects of the university and not just the basketball team, I wanted to go more. Linda Graves was one of our teachers in middle school. But she was more than a teacher to us, she was more like another mother. We all respected her and had known her long enough to be able to joke around with her at appropriate times. I hated math and in frustration I told her many times that I didn’t really need math, when I graduated I was just going to get a job. She would look at me and sternly say, “Robbie Brafford, you will go to college, and you will go to Carolina.” I’m quite certain that if I had not followed through with her expectations, she might have beaten me!

Going from a rural high school in Western Harnett to UNC-Chapel Hill was certainly different. I had an idea of what it would be like but I was not 100% certain as to what to expect. At the time, you were required to take two physical education classes. My very first class was a weightlifting class and I will never forget it. The class included students from all walks of life and different backgrounds. But there was one guy in this class that I was really just not sure of.

This stranger, in which I was skeptical, was a black guy who initially had a face of stone carved into anger. Several thoughts about the guy initially ran through my mind;

1. He is the “kingpin” of a big city gang and he will end up killing me just because I looked at him.
2. He has never smiled, not even on Christmas Day
3. He is a very rare individual….a black serial killer
4. He is extra angry because he thought he had signed up for “Different Ways to Kill People-101”

This is when the story turns into complete irony. I ended up speaking to him one day and asked if he wanted to lift weights. Now, he didn’t immediately warm up to me but he also did not kill me, so I thought that was a good sign. As the classes moved forward, we started working out almost every day. THEN, I started saying some of the crazy things I typically say, and he thought I was an idiot and much of what I said, he found hysterical. Before you knew it, we were rarely working out and laughing constantly.

The guy’s name was Stephon Goode, but I nicknamed him “Smoothdaddy” and that’s all I’ve ever called him. Every time I saw him on campus we would share stories and laughs. Actually, it was almost always me making fun of someone else and both of us laughing. We graduated before the world of email and cyberspace became so integrated into our lives, and therefore we lost touch with each other. However, in recent years, we have reacquainted through Facebook.

I am a firm believer that if you feel led to help someone, you should absolutely follow through with that intuition. Every year, we see golf tournaments, dinners, and fund raisers of all sorts for people that are going through a difficult time. Stephon is currently going through serious personal challenges. He has been diagnosed with “end stage renal disease” and will require a kidney transplant at some point in the near future. I know Stephon is a good guy. I also know that the world needs people like him. In 1999, we found out that my father had cancer. December 6th, 1999 will be a day I will never forget. My whole life I had my father for every challenging circumstance I had ever faced. When the surgeon walked out that day, all he could tell us was bad news in the absolute most amicable way possible. I know what it felt like that Thanksgiving and Christmas to be dealing with a very serious medical situation.

First and foremost, I’m asking you to pray for Stephon and his family. I would also appreciate it if you would share this blog with as many people as you can. In addition, I am asking you to consider if God is actually leading you to help Stephon. He needs $25,000 to help him through this surgery. His goal is already within reach as many people have already been led to make a donation. Many of you reading this know me good enough to realize that I would not have written a blog about Stephon if I didn’t believe in him. He is now the Reverend Stephon D. Goode of Union Grove Missionary Baptist Church in Henderson, NC. I am sure every time he thinks about almost everything I ever said to him in college, he prays for my forgiveness. But I also know that it would make Christmas for his family, friends and church even better if he had reached his goal.  I’ve not done nearly enough in this life for others and I know that.  But nothing feels better to me than helping someone in one way or another. Therefore, I am asking everyone that reads this to consider a difficult situation for a great guy. You can follow this link to his site, "Kidney Transplant Fund" and let’s start this holiday season by considering helping a guy through a challenging time who in return, will give back to the world for a lifetime.

The Rules

The year Deddy was sick, all of our lives revolved around him. Not because that’s what he demanded, it was just what we all wanted to do. I have heard people say many times that they had rather go quick than deal with a terrible illness. I can see that point in some regards, but I am grateful for the year that Deddy lived. Yes, he had cancer. Yes, it was often difficult. Yes, it was emotionally draining. But the most important thing to consider is that he didn’t die for a year, he LIVED for one.

There are so many things about that year that I will always remember; the concern, the worry, and the eventual demise….but that’s not what I remember the most. I remember the laughs, the good times, and eventually a sense of peace.

My father loved his family and friends. He loved his mother and father with all of his heart. He loved his mother-in-law. He loved my mother and he loved me and Travis. Of course, he loved Travis more, but that’s another story. He also loved his brothers. Deddy could find the best in all three of his brothers in an instant and I’ve always thought that was one of his best attributes.

There were many rules during that year that were to be followed. They were not written on a board or demanded by my father. As a matter of fact, most of them were quite funny. I thought after 14 years, maybe it would be interesting for everyone to know what the rules were during the last year Deddy was with us;

1. Do not run out of 6.5 oz Coca Cola’s. If you get down to less than a case of them, someone better get to a store and buy some more. Deddy told me one time during that year that we were almost out and I needed to go buy some more. I went to the store and bought several more 6 packs. When I opened the refrigerator in the garage to put them in, there were probably 30 in there. I guess he wanted to be prepared for a lot of people showing up at one time.

2. The TV was on almost 24 hours a day and consisted of the following programs:

a. The Western Channel
b. Nascar on Sundays
c. Who Wants to Be a Millionaire
d. Carolina basketball games
e. Some other ACC basketball games
f. NBA games that included Michael Jordan or Shaq
g. Anything else that Deddy felt like we should watch

3. There were certain people that had an open door policy for visitation.

a. His immediate family
b. His closest friends
c. The numerous preachers that visited him often; Danny, Sandy, and Mr. Brice. Phil Thomas was also extended the same courtesy as the preachers.

4. Besides having 6.5 oz Coca Colas, we always had to have Kool-Aid. It mostly had to be grape and be made by Travis.

5. If Uncle Boyd was not at the house by 5:00, somebody better be on a phone finding out why and what time he would be getting there.

6. The golf cart was to be ready at all times. At any given second, he may need to visit his Mama and Deddy, Randy, or Sammy.

The evolution of Facebook has certainly been interesting. I know we ALL see some things posted that are either stupid or seem too personal to post. But the great thing about Facebook for me has been a way to keep up with people you genuinely care about. My family was so blessed with prayers, cards, visits, and kind words of encouragement that I don’t know if we could ever be grateful enough. My father was a very sympathetic person. Not only did he believe in giving people second chances, I saw him give people MANY chances throughout his life. I believe his good nature made it more difficult for everyone to watch him battle an illness that is seldom defeated. So, as I watch the lives of so many people through Facebook, I certainly feel sympathy for the challenges we all see family and friends going through. But I don’t believe in a life of regret. I think what we all should do is celebrate the accomplishments, success, and triumphs of our family and friends. But, when those same people are going through the difficult times, we should support them with encouragement, compassion, and prayer. Because no matter what, life can change one way or another at any given moment. Deddy had a “wake up call” like no other in fall of 1999. On September 13th, 2000, his battle was over. I’ve read the poem, “The Dash” by Linda Ellis many times that explains that we have a beginning date and a date when our life ends. But what matters the most is the “dash” in the middle because that is the life that we lived. I find great peace knowing that Deddy made the most of his “dash”.

The Ten Commandments

     Well, well, well. It's that time of the year again. Spring is coming, flowers are blooming, Easter is just around the corner, and "The Ten Commandments" is once again coming on television!

     This of course is my favorite movie of all time. Now, I know for a lot of you that have heard me recite every line from "Silence of the Lambs," that may be somewhat of a surprise. But I think it’s great. You have to admit, it is one of the most fascinating stories in the Bible and the movie is certainly one of the most cinematic movies of all time.

     There are a number of things about the movie that run through my mind each time I watch it. To begin with, Pharoah and anyone that followed him must have had some sort of learning disability. Now, I can somewhat see the thought process of Pharoah; he had all the wealth, owned the entire city and ruled everyone. But it is still a little hard to believe, that in the end, someone could be stupid enough to banish Moses from the “world”. To banish someone he once considered a son just because he had sympathy for a population of slaves and the horrible conditions in which they lived and worked.

     After Moses was disowned by Pharoah, Rameses was loving life. Moses had been the thorn in Rameses' side his whole life. His father loved Moses more, his woman was in love with Moses, and Moses proved to be a better engineer, military leader, and was more highly respected throughout Egypt. So, when they found out Moses was a slave, don't you know that Rameses was elated! Even then, everyone was ready to accept him. But when Moses admits to Pharoah that he would free the slaves if he could, he is considered a threat and is banished forever from Egypt. As the life of Moses continues, he is called by God to be the deliverer of the Hebrew people. He did not even know God, but Joshua told Moses that God knew him! Instead of executing Moses, Ramses sends him out into the desert with the intentions of him dying a sufferable death. However, not only does Moses not die, he finds God and comes to truly understand his purpose.

     At this point in the movie, the story really begins to unfold. Pharoah dies and Rameses becomes King of Egypt. Almost immediately, God directs Moses to return to Egypt to lead the Hebrew people out of bondage. Moses goes to Rameses and demands that the slaves are freed. Of course, Rameses saw this as preposterous considering they had an army, owned and ruled the city, lived a lavish lifestyle and owned all the slaves. So from his point of view, who cared about this "God" that Moses worshipped?

     As the story continues, instead of Rameses yielding to logic and reason, his ability to be rational and intelligent are obviously NOT options. God curses Egypt with multiple plagues, yet Ramses refuses to free the slaves. I always contemplate, what if I was one of the Egyptian guards? It would be like this..."Ok, let's think about this rationally Rameses, you have an army and complete power and this guy has a stick. You threw snakes at him and his stick turned into a snake and ate your snakes. I haven't had a drink of water in forever because it’s all blood now. Frogs, gnats, and locust have eaten everything but Nefeteria's eyebrows. We have boils all over us and its hailing fire. And oh yeah, by the way, it has been so dark for 3 days that I can't see my hand in front of my face. Seriously, I realize that your logic has been altered since your hairdresser told you that a long pony tail on one side of your head would be a strong look for you and your son. But you keep talking to that black statue with a bird's head on it. What has he done so far? Stand there and look stupid while the God of Moses sends one plague after another? Therefore, here is my sword and my armor. I am putting on one of those potato sack robes and I am going with Moses because his God is God! Oh, and by the way, so let it be written, so let it be done!" The story would be very different if I lived back them.

     Moses finally tells Rameses that "the next plague brought onto Egypt will come from your mouth". But the genius, Rameses says, "Oh yeah, anymore plagues brought on to us, and I'll kill the first born of every Hebrew family." This is my part again "Hey Pharoah, are you trying to be stupid? Yeah, remember me? I was in your army last week but I wised up pretty quick. Are you sure you don't want to take that back?" And Rameses says "Nope, I am the KING.” What happens? A mean, green fog of death floats through Egypt and kills all of the first born of Egyptian families. All of the first born of Hebrew slaves were protected by the mark of lambs blood, therefore the death “passed over” their homes. THEN, Rameses relented and let the slaves go. "Well, way to go Pharoah! See, it didn't really take that much to convince you!?"

     Next thing you know, the city is cleared of slaves and they are all gone. What was Rameses doing? He was worshipping the bird head man to bring his son back to life. At this point I'm thinking "Really? That's your plan?" Of course Nefeteria, who loved him SO MUCH comes in, mocks him, and DARES him to chase the slaves down and kill Moses. You would think at this point he would say, "Nefeteria, why don't you shut that windsock that keeps flapping in the wind before I go postal." But no, he says, "Oh yeah, I'll chase Moses down and bring his blood back on my sword!" Did the burning bush cause him to reconsider? Nope. Did it cross his mind that it might not be a real good idea to send his entire army into the sea that God divided for the slaves to cross through? Nope.

     So, after watching his army destroyed by the sea and the slaves shooting off fireworks on the other side, Pharoah goes home with his gimpy horse. And what does his sweet wife ask? "Where is the blood of Moses?" Once again, if I could be in this scene, it would be better..."Ummmm, Nefi, listen up....in case you didn't notice, you just suffered through 10 plagues. Your little boy is deceased and its your husband's fault. All of the slaves have hit the trail, and just to remind you of what is going on, Rameses left here a few days ago with 10,000 soldiers. Unless I have severe cataracts, it appears that he has come home with just his horse and one of Willie Nelson's braids hanging off the side of his head. Does it appear to you that he rode back in with a posture of victory, or of a sad clown who can't juggle? If he has the blood of Moses on his sword, he found one of his worn out Band-Aids from that long desert walk and he rubbed the blood on his sword. Moses prayed for the Red Sea to be divided, walked through it, then ascended up the mountain to talk to directly to God. So, you and ‘silly hair’ can go over there and talk to birdman. Hey by the way, you got any Sweet Tea, I am parched!"

     Of course, the stupidity does not end there. After being in slavery for hundreds of years, freed, then seeing the burning bush protect them, walking through the middle of a divided sea, and finally reaching the other side, the SLAVES were becoming restless. I have to slap myself to understand this. In the meantime, Moses goes up the mountain to directly talk to God and was given the 10 Commandments. But guess what, Dathan convinces the people that they need a gold bull to worship. If I could physically beat up one person in this story, it would definitely be Dathan. At this point I am saying "What in the wide world of sports is going on?" The Hebrew people turn to sin and immorality. That is until Moses walks back down the mountain with the commandments. My character would now be yelling "I told ya'll he was going to be angry!"  Moses throws the commandments at them and total calamity ensues killing many of the people who had dismissed God turned to sin.

     By the end of his life, Moses has the people of Israel traveling like a normal group toward the promise land. However, Moses doesn't make it. It is time for him to climb the golden staircase. He got them there, and now it is up to them to make good choices through life. The truly epic story of the entire life of Moses is why I love this movie.

     For most people, you have parents, grandparents, teachers, coaches etc. that make an effort to guide you and give you good advice. Now I know some adults are not good role models and actually are harmful to children. However, most of us have people around us to give good advice. Somewhere along the line, we all have at least one person that reaches out to us and attempts to help us follow the right path through life. But just like the end of the "10 Commandments," someone can lead you to the promise land and show you where its at, but the decision is up to you from that point on as to what kind of life you decide to lead.

     As I have followed so many friends this past year, a know a lot of you have had challenges, health concerns and even the loss of loved ones.  However, keep in mind that this weekend there will be a beautiful celebration in Heaven.  Jesus Christ died to help us through the difficulties of this world and to give us an opportunity for forgiveness.  No matter what we are faced with, the Lord knows our need.  One of the hardest things in life is faith and that's something that we all need to keep.

     May God bless all of you this Easter. And as you watch "The Ten Commandments" tonight, I hope my version will bring all of you a little laughter.

Memories

I believe that one of the blessings God gives us are memories. The difficult memories have taught us lessons and made us stronger. The fond memories remind us of good times and give us courage to face tomorrow.

We all have great memories of things that have happened in our lives. We all go through tough times, but most of us have many more good memories than bad ones. I have a strange memory. I can remember extraordinary details from as young as 3 years old, but I will go to the grocery store to get 3 things and forget 2. I can remember before I started school, sitting in Mema Cameron’s kitchen and eating Corn Flakes with sugar and bananas. At the time, Corn Flakes had pictures on the backs of boxes of famous historical figures. Mema saved a bunch of them and would hold them up while I ate and ask me who they were and what did they do. I remember Columbus, Eli Whitney, Henry Ford, Thomas Edison, John F. Kennedy, etc. When I started school, I did not understand why everyone else did not know who these people were. I mean, didn’t everyone eat Corn Flakes?

My life at home growing up was incredibly entertaining. Before “Reality TV”, I lived on one of those shows. I did not have typical parents. Deddy was funny without trying. Mama could turn a 15 minute trip to the grocery store into a 2 hour story! Travis and I always had something going on. Many a night was spent in Mema and Papa Brafford’s yard playing football with Sammy Ray. We used to love going to Marshall and Kevin’s to ride bicycles and “play.” One of my favorite stories about my Papa Brafford is about a time when Travis, Sammy Ray and I were riding to the store with him. He stopped and spoke to a gentleman who was putting up mailboxes with his children. In good humor, the gentleman said, “That’s not much help you have today with you is it Mr. Brafford?” Without cracking even a slight smile, Papa responded, “It’s a lot damn better than what you have helping you!” When the gentleman was laughing it off, he put the truck in “drive” and we rode away. Of course, Travis, Sammy Ray and I were about to blow a gasket laughing. Even Papa got tickled and said, “Well, the truth is the truth.”

My Papa Cameron passed away when I was in the 8th grade. One of the most important things to Papa was for his grandchildren to get an education. Ironically, the day he died, we had a huge ice storm and schools were closed so we didn’t have to miss any days. He passed away in 1987 and only recently did my Mema Cameron look at his wallet and she let Travis do that. In his wallet were 3 pictures of me and my cousin Marshall. I was 3 years old and Marshall was 2. He had been carrying those pictures in his wallet since 1976, because he had written the date on the back of each picture. Although he died from cancer, his demise is not what I remember. What I remember are the many good times we enjoyed during his life. The bigger we got, the more he loved to joke with us. By the time he passed away, Marshall and I were about as big as he was. He loved to ball his fist up and shake it at us and say, “You see that right there, I can whoop you in about 10 seconds.” I would tell him he couldn’t whoop me if he tied my arms behind my back. He would respond with incredible laughter. He loved for us to joke with him like that.

I used to work with Deddy’s brick crew every summer. None of those guys would ever come to a baseball game, but the day after every game, they would want to know about the entire game, pitch by pitch. It was so hot during those summers you could barely stand it. I’ll tell you this, if people want a way to motivate children who do not care about school, let them get a hard manual labor job in 90+ degree weather, and they will soon appreciate every opportunity they have. Don’t get me wrong, we need people for every job in America. I also don’t care what that job is, it’s important to make the world go around. But for me, that job made me determined and committed to be dedicated to whatever I did.

I listen to people all the time talk about their lives. We were given two ears and one mouth for a reason. Sometimes I have a tendency to forget that. But everyone talks about moments in their lives that made a difference. There is so much stress in our lives today. We are constantly worried or concerned about something going on in our lives. But no matter what, we can always recall fond memories. We all have wonderful memories of holidays, family cookouts, birthday parties, etc. Even when you think of people who have passed away and are no longer with us, you almost always think of the good times. I can think of an endless number of good memories about Deddy, but I would have to think harder to come up with a bad one.

Life is filled with highs and lows. But as I get older, it’s obvious to me that people who look for good in others, make every effort to do the right thing, and lead lives of genuine honesty and integrity, live a much happier life than those who don’t. We all know someone who complains constantly. What those people often don’t realize is that the one person they are making the most miserable are themselves. That’s just not a good way to live. Other aspects of life that we always remember are moments that we truly appreciate. The year my father was sick, Jason McPherson called me every single day but 2 and he had a reason he did not call those days and told me beforehand. That’s not something you forget. Jason, his brother Lee and his father had also been planning a trip for several months when Deddy really started to decline. I knew I had to make a decision whether or not I was going to tell him just how critical the situation was before he left. I didn’t want him to cancel his trip, but I knew if I didn’t tell him, he would never forgive me if Deddy died while he was gone. So, with an extraordinary amount of self courage, I rode over to his house and I explained to him how grim things were getting. We sat on his front porch and it’s a moment in my life I’ll never forget. We both had always thought of Deddy as someone who could chew up barb wire and spit out BB’s. To openly discuss his imminent demise was an overwhelming dose of reality for both of us. However, anytime Deddy comes up, we always remember a good or funny story of some sort. We rarely discuss the last few weeks he lived.

I go to one race a year, the “All Star Race” in Charlotte. It’s a big group of family and friends. I enjoy watching the race, telling stories, and having a good time. But I think more than anything else, I go for the memories that we have after each one. Like Uncle Boyd always explaining to us that the drivers today could not hold a candle to the drivers 25 years ago! How in the WORLD could Jimmy Johnson, Jeff Gordon and Kyle Busch race with Bobby Allison, Bill Elliott, David Pearson, and Cale Yarborough? The answer per Uncle Boyd… “They couldn’t!”

Two of the most important things in this world are money and power. I’m not saying that’s right and I’m not encouraging anyone to live for either of them. I am just making an observation that it’s become the world we live in. But at the end of one’s life, both of those are irrelevant. I’ve never known anyone to wish they could live longer to continue a life of ill repute. We want to live for the people we love, to spend more time with family and friends, and to do more good before our time is up. For my Papa Cameron, the material things in this world were irrelevant the last few weeks he was here. However, what did matter was indicated by the pictures in his wallet. When you think about it, all of our lives are reflective of the pictures we each carry in our own wallets. Don’t ever underestimate how important you are to everyone around you. And trust me, nobody gives a damn about how much money you made or how much power you had, but the pictures they find in your wallet 25 years later remind everyone of all the good you ever did.

https://twitter.com/K_RobsWorld

Out With the Old and in With the New!

There was a lot to happen in 2013. Once again, much of the news this year was “bad news”. In April, the Boston Marathon was completely disrupted by a bomb that killed three, injured hundreds, and accomplished nothing. Edward Snowden dropped a different bomb on the world by releasing tons of classified information and continues to be a threat to the world. A fertilizer plant in Texas had an explosion that killed 12 people. The weather continues to be more erratic and more devastating. One of the major tragedies of the year was another tornado ripped through Oklahoma killing 19 people. The Affordable Health Care Act had a disastrous debut and continues to have many challenges.

In world news, Syria continued fighting a devastating civil war displacing millions of people. Bashar al-Assad released chemical weapons on his own people before giving them up with pressure from all the super powers. The Philippines was destroyed by Typhoon Hainan killing over 6,000 people and displacing over 3 million.

Some of the things that happened this year were more perplexing than anything. Rob Ford, the mayor of Toronto was caught smoking crack, admitted it, and refused to resign. North Korea’s new leader, Kim Jong Un had his Uncle executed and referred to him as “factionalist filth”. So much for family loyalty. Our own government could not come to an agreement on some key issues, so they just shut down for a while. Unlike most people, I actually like this idea. The next time I have a different opinion than someone I work with, I’m going to suggest we just stop working for a month.

Sometimes it seems that we are so used to tragedies and bad news that we are becoming immune to some degree. The news has an obligation to report what is going on, it’s just sad that so much of it is bad.

The IPhone 5S was another headliner for Apple this year. “Blurred Lines” was one of the most popular songs this past year and the video has been viewed on YouTube almost 29 million times. Miley Cyrus stayed in the news all year one way or another. She had decided to separate herself from Hannah Montana and I would say her introduction of “twerking” to the world achieved her goal! Breaking Bad was one of the most talked about TV shows of the year with millions of people tuned in to watch the last season. The Harlem Shake is a craze that is funny no matter who is doing it.

The greatest reliever in the history of baseball, Mariano Rivera, retired this year. "Mo" had one significant pitch, the “cutter”. He was so good at it that even though batters knew it was coming, they still had extreme difficulty hitting it. The Boston Red Sox won the World Series again. I would say the “Curse of the Bambino” has been lifted. The Louisville Cardinals basketball team won the NCAA National Championship even after one of their star players broke his leg with one the worst injuries ever shown on television. The Baltimore Ravens won the Superbowl even though they were underdogs all the way through the playoffs. Auburn beat Alabama on a last second play that may be the greatest ending to a college football game ever.

A lot of good things happened in 2013 too. I’m not Catholic, but the process of choosing a new Pope is fascinating to me. On March 13th, Jore Mario Bergoglio was elected “Pope” and he chose “Francis” as his papal name. With the world watching, Prince George Alexander Louis of Cambridge was born into British royalty in July. Diana Nyad became the first person to swim from Cuba to Florida. Well, the first person recorded doing it…..Uncle Boyd has done it 8 times, but he didn’t realize it was a big deal. Malala Yousafzai is a little girl who was shot by Taliban militants literally because she wanted to learn how to read. Not only did she survive, she has become one of the most outspoken leaders against terrorism in the world.

For the most part, I’m an optimistic person. Although we see so many bad things happening everyday, and it seems they become more tragic, I still believe there is good in this world. I still believe the United States is the best country in world to live in. Sure, we have issues and problems, but we also still have freedom and opportunity. In the face of tragic events, we pull together and help each other. Adversity seems to bring out the best in all of us to help one another in a crisis.

I saw several postings on Facebook that encouraged people to write down notes of “good things” they do or see throughout the year and put them in a jar. Then at the end of the year, get them all out and read through them to remind yourself of the good things in this world. I think it’s a great idea. However, I would encourage you to take it a step further. When you see someone going through a difficult situation, I would remind you that some words of encouragement can mean the world to a person. Give them a call or if you are not comfortable with that, sit down and write out what you want to say and send that person a card. Make a special effort to donate to something you may not have before. The list of organizations, churches, charities, and goodwill groups that you could donate to is endless. I’m going to tell you something that I hope you will write down and remember this year; “reluctance is not good for anyone”. I realize that when you help someone with a sincere heart, you truly want to make that person feel good. However, I can’t think of a situation where I have done something good that didn’t make me feel good also. Good will is most effective when a lot of people work together. To donate $5 to a group may not seem like a great contribution until you contemplate a million other people doing the same thing.

I hope all of you find success, happiness, and peace in 2014. I hope you make some goals for yourself and are able to achieve those goals. Just because there is so much bad going on in the world, doesn’t mean that we can’t make every effort to do as much good as we can.

I Should Be So Blessed

“One of the deep secrets of life, is that all that is really worth doing is what we do for others.” -Lewis Carroll

When Deddy was sick, just about anything he could have felt would have been justified. He could have been bitter, angry, devastated, or experienced any other negative feeling one can have in his situation, but he wasn’t. He was disappointed of the circumstances. He was sad that he was leaving his family and friends. He felt responsible for everyone around him and he wanted to ensure that everyone was taken care of. That was the most difficult aspect of dying that he had to overcome, the fact that he would not be here to see people through life. He never mentioned making more money, or buying anything else. He just wanted to be here, and not for himself, but for everyone else. However, in the end, worn down by a year of doctors, treatments, and becoming more feeble, he had accepted his fate. He had made peace with God long before his final demise. That gave everyone around him more comfort than anything.

The lesson I gained during that time of my life was what is actually important in this life we live. It’s not any amount of fame or fortune. It’s not the material things we accumulate. What is most important is what we accomplish as a person, whether or not we make a positive impact on the world and the friendships we make.

I have a lot of friends as most of us do. I know a lot of wonderful people in this world. But the true friendships are really the ones that get you through life. I have many friends that I don’t see a lot and some I have not seen in years. But I can honestly say that many of them would help me if they could in one way or another. They also know that if they needed my help, I would do anything I could for them. As I get older, friendship becomes a lot more important to me. Some of the best friendships I have are with individuals that most people don’t know I’m friends with. Several of those individuals were acquaintances before this year but became great friends to me in 2013.

When life gets difficult in one way or another, that is when you really need the people around you. Those times will come for almost all of us, and there is not an investment you can make at any point in your life that will pay more dividends than friends. My family history is not favorable for me to live a long life and I know that. It actually worries me sometimes. I hope that I can have everything in order before my time comes whether that is 1 year or 60 years. But honestly, the worry for me is two fold: the fact that I may not live to be old and that I may live to be TOO old. I think what worries me more than dying is being the last one left. “The Green Mile” is one of my favorite movies, but the end is really sad to me because all of the people that Paul Edgecomb loved have passed away. Instead of a blessing, he believes it may be a curse.

Tonight I will go to the long standing tradition of “Uncle Boyd’s Christmas Party” where I will be surrounded by family and friends. We’ll sit around and talk, shoot pool, eat, and of course play EXTREMELY high stakes poker with as much as $2 sometimes being in the pot! Without fail, Deddy will be mentioned numerous times. I will be told how much he is missed, funny stories of all sorts about him, and I will be told multiple times that I look more like him the older I get. There will be animated conversations and if any NEW guests show up and get out of hand, I will banish them from the party for at least one year. If you don’t believe me, ask someone. Uncle Sammy made some new rules last year……”NO POLITICS; you can talk about 3 things, 1. Christmas 2. Santa Claus and 3. Jesus!” Then he asked “does everybody understand me?” Everyone understood. Uncle Boyd’s Christmas Party is NOT a democracy. The Council makes the rules and everybody follows them. If you don’t like the process, that is no problem, you were not invited anyway.

Tonight reiterates my belief that friendship is one of the most important aspects of life. In my opinion, second only to family. I am so grateful for my friends. Many of you that read this particular blog may not even realize what a good friend you are to me. Friends are not just people to know, they are people to cherish. When Deddy died, Barbecue Church was PACKED at his funeral. Not only were people standing all around in the church, they were even standing outside. That is a testament of a life well lived. I should be so fortunate to look back on my own life and be able to say the same thing. I should be so blessed to have that many friends.

The Greatest Time of the Year

All my life I have loved this time of year. I truly believe the last 40 days of the year bring out the best in people. In a world that has become a never ending pace of chaos, this time of the year gives us a brief period of time to slow down and spend time with family and friends. It’s easy to watch the news or listen to the problems that disrupt our community and develop a negative outlook. But we still have our freedom, we still have opportunity, and we still have each other. We also have the ability to help others. I really believe that we are more generous around the holidays than we are throughout the rest of the year, and we should be. Although most of us can complain about something, the reality is that you know someone else that is having a much harder time than you. I think Christmas allows us be a little more open minded, have a little more heart, and see the needs of others as a higher priority.

When we think about significant moments, we often think of monumental occurrences while we have been alive. However, one of the most significant times in all of our lives occurred over 2000 years ago on December 25th. To think of our Lord and Savior being born in a stable, a star indicating his birth, and three wise men traveling great distances to bow before him is magnificent. The birth of Jesus is truly a beautiful story that I believe in with all my heart.

One of the joys of Christmas is doing good for others. I had much rather give somebody a gift than get one. Expect for some people who have been bad, I don’t give them anything. Not even a lump of coal. However, I can forgive a little more at Christmas.

Most of us get to spend time with our families. That is one of the best attributes of Christmas to me. It's always good to just sit around and talk, discuss the world, laugh and have some good conversation. Christmas would just not be the same to me without “Uncle Boyd’s Christmas Party.” Many families don’t get together much during the year but make a special effort to get together over the holidays. Some families get together several times. I always feel sorry for people that can’t be home; soldiers that are deployed, doctors, nurses, police officers and EMT’s that must be on call no matter what. Those people deserve an extra merit for being committed to the life they have chosen.

Christmas also gives us cause to stop and think about how grateful we are for what we do have. Some of our fondest memories are made at Christmas and although most things don’t last forever, memories do. The world even looks better in a lot of ways during Christmas. Towns, churches, stores, malls and homes are decorated with trees, lights, flowers, and other decorations everywhere you turn. We used to start decorating our yard around Halloween and we worked on it until Thanksgiving. That is certainly a part of my life that I miss. Small towns all across America host parades where families can take their children and watch local marching bands, firetrucks, old tractors, clowns, and of course, Santa Claus roll through on decorated floats. There are Christmas programs on television constantly with “Merry Christmas Charlie Brown” highlighting the season. Choirs and music groups host programs that are not only beautiful to listen to but spiritually uplifting.

There is just not another holiday as wonderful as Christmas. It brings out the best in most of us. It gives us cause to care more about others, to appreciate our family and friends, and to be grateful for what we do have. Christmas always brings back fond memories of the loved ones that have passed on before us. Although we regret that they are not here with us, it’s consoling to think about how extraordinary Christmas must be in Heaven. Although I have mentioned the decorations and festivities of the holidays, it’s imperative to remember the true meaning of Christmas, the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. The beginning of a life sent here to save us all. To contemplate that the destiny of the entire world rested on the shoulders of one little baby is very humbling. That gives us more reason than any to be grateful during Christmas.

I hope you and your family have a blessed Christmas season. I hope you all take some time to relax, fellowship, and genuinely let people know just how much you love them. Consider doing something charitable during Christmas for a family, group, or any worthy cause. Above all, take time to pray and thank God for Christmas. John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.”

May you all find peace, love, and happiness during this holiday season and may your families be blessed with the grace of God.