Every Cut He Made and Every Nail He Hammered

              

              It’s hard to believe that today is the 18^th Father’s Day that Deddy has been passed away.  He was the best father that Travis or I could have ever asked for and I am grateful for everything he ever did in our lives. I loved him, but I also respected him.  He was always there when I needed him, but he also demanded that I followed the rules of life and stayed out of trouble. I was staying with David O’Quinn one night many years ago and that usually meant police helicopters would be hovering above their house the whole time.  His buddy Troy decided we should go sneak into the Lillington swimming pool.  I told Troy there was no way in the world that I was going to do that.  I explained to Troy that the idea of doing that didn’t bother me at all.  However, the idea of getting caught and having to confront my father, DID bother me.  He kind of chuckled and implied that dealing with my father would not be so difficult.  That’s when David interjected….”Troy, do you know what Grizzly Adams looks like?”  Troy indicated that he did.  David responded by saying…..  “Imagine him, on crack, and infuriated.  That would be his Deddy if Robbie got caught.  As a matter of fact, I don’t want to do it now either because I don’t want Bob mad at ME.” 

                That was my father.  Although he was one of the nicest people that ever lived, he was respected by everyone that knew him. When he walked in a room, without even trying, his presence commanded respect.  All my friends thought a lot of him.  They enjoyed the funny things he said and his general interpretation of the world.  He had the ability to insult you in some way, but before you could get mad, he would follow it up with a compliment.  Heck, he did it to me a lot!  The first time he ever met one of my best friends in college, Russell Moore, his introductory line was…. “Damn boy, your Mama don’t feed you much does she!”  Russell laughed and loved Deddy from that moment on.

                He did many things for others in life.  A guy I know said Deddy loaned him the money to buy the land his home was on.  He told Deddy about a piece of land that he had found but he could not afford the home and the land right away.  Deddy told him to come back in a few days and he would see what he could do.  When the gentleman returned, Deddy handed him a check and told him to pay him back as he could. No contract, no paperwork, just a handshake.  Within a few years, he paid Deddy back, but he has appreciated it forever.

                He was also one of the most forgiving people I have ever known.  He just thought that everyone deserved a second chance and he often gave people many chances.  Over the years, several guys that worked with him got into trouble in various ways and went to jail for a while.  He would visit them, give them money, and take them things like cigarettes if it was allowed.  I asked him one day why he did that, and he said too many people think that a similar situation could not happen to them.  However, you just never know.  He said that when someone is in such a difficult situation, the right thing to do is to extend them a hand of friendship and let them know that someone hopes the best for them.  He would not justify any crime they committed, but he encourage them to learn from their mistakes.  Forgiveness is a trait that I am still working on to be a better person.

                 I think for many of his family and friends, my father’s life was a collection of stories that became wonderful memories when he died.  One of Gwen’s favorite stories is pulling through a drive thru window and Deddy ordering a “sack of cheeseburgers.”  When the guy asked him how many cheeseburgers that would be, Deddy told him as many as he could fit in one bag!  Uncle Boyd was with him one time and he was supposed to be on a diet.  He got a cheeseburger on the way and he stopped and got another one coming home.  Then he told Uncle Boyd that he better not say a word to Mama!  Marshall had to get his truck painted one time after a wreck.  Deddy told him where to take his truck to get it fixed.  When Marshall went to pick up the truck, it had new rims on it.  When Marshall told the owner that those were not his rims, the man replied; “Yes they are, that’s your graduation present from your Uncle Bob.”   Giving gifts to the elderly at Christmas, going to races with his brothers and friends, some of the “pep talks” he gave us playing Little League, raising money for people in need, and just being there whenever anyone needed him are all terrific memories of Deddy that his family and friends will cherish forever.

                As my life races by, I have come to appreciate even the smallest blessings.  A few years ago, my Aunt Libby called me and asked me if I wanted the swing on her porch.  She then explained to me something that I did not know, that Deddy had made the swing.  There are many reasons that swing means so much to me now.  He made it during one of the most difficult times in his life.  It was the early 80’s and the economy was terrible.  His truck had blown a motor, our house had burned down, and it was hard to find any work at all.  We were living with my Great Grandparents in a 2 bedroom, one bath house.  I slept on the big couch and Travis slept on the loveseat.  To have something to do in the evenings, Deddy wired up one of my Great Papa Ferrell’s barns and started making all kinds of woodworks.  That Christmas, he made a lot of presents that we gave to family and friends. There are stools, benches, lantern holders, and quilt trunks that my family still owns as a result of his handiwork, and now, I have the swing.  I can see every cut he made and every nail he hammered.  I worked on it for a while sanding it, making small repairs, and finally painting it.  The swing now sits on my porch and looks great.  Anyone can go somewhere tomorrow and buy a new swing.  That swing can sit on your porch and look great.  But you’ll never appreciate it as much as the one I have now.  During one of the most difficult periods of his life, he chose to spend his spare time making things for other people.

      I think we often get caught up in the hectic and frantic pace of life and we forget to appreciate what we already have.  Deddy was not like that.  I think he had enough challenges in life that when things started to improve, he appreciated everything that life had to offer.  It is one of the most valuable lessons I ever learned from him and I really am a very grateful person.

      I miss my father as much now as I did the week he died.  I know nobody truly realizes just how much I still miss him.  There have been so many times that I would have given anything to ask him for advice.  I am told all the time that I look a lot like my father.  I realize that much of the reason for that is that people will always remember Deddy being the age that I am now because he died so young.  Although his time on Earth was short, the impact he made was truly a blessing for so many people.  I can only hope that I can do enough good in the world that I’ll be remembered the same way. 

    

$22 Million...... $6 at a Time

As I reflect on the work I have done during my career, I can honestly say that I really enjoyed building custom homes and selling real estate.  The process was meticulous, stressful, and required a lot of attention to detail.  As a General Contractor, it’s imperative to be able to communicate effectively with different types of people.  You talk to people with a specific skill or trade like painters, brick masons, and electricians.  In addition, you also communicate with many others who are critical in the building process like appraisers, surveyors, attorneys, and bankers.  An essential step while building homes is addressing the needs of the buyer during the process.  At the end of the project, however, your reward is seeing what you have accomplished, handing the keys to the new homeowner, and learning something during the process that will make the next home even better.

I was a 2^nd generation builder and I recognized issues with the economy in 2004.  In 2008, all of us in the construction industry were living a nightmare.   There are countless stories of what people did to get through the economic meltdown.   Some guys were old enough to retire, many took other jobs, some just did the best they could, and a lot filed bankruptcy.  Fortunately for me, I found another job with a company named Liberty Tire Recycling.

For the first few years I worked with Liberty, I implemented a software to help improve scheduling and maintenance on virtually every piece of machinery, equipment and rolling stock.  I had very little training in the beginning but was able to figure out the system and utilize it for each facility.  The biggest challenge we had for software was identifying someone at each site that could learn the system and continue with their other responsibilities.  Since it was new, not many people were anxious to learn a new software that would take up some of their time during the work day.  But for those of us that were committed to the project, we made the most of it and got it headed in the right direction.

During my effort with Manager Plus, I met a gentleman named Tom Dupont who also worked with Liberty.  Tom realized that nobody really dictated my schedule or how I went about my job.  However, he noted that I was one of the first people to the site wherever I was working, and I would stay as late as needed.  He talked to me one day and told me that if I ever decided to consider another job within Liberty, he thought sales would be perfect for me.  His logic was that if I put as much time and effort into sales as I did Manager Plus, I would do a great job.

 

After working on Manager Plus for over a year, I realized that it was going to be very difficult to implement the system throughout the company.  We simply did not have commitment from every site to make it work.  Our biggest achievement with Manager Plus was to install schedules throughout the company to improve our efforts for safety.  We were able to get every site up and going within 45 days.  This created a more systematic process of complying to safety standards and keeping our facilities safe.  As I was working on the safety aspect of the system, I started contemplating the possibility of moving into sales.  I contacted Tom Dupont and we discussed the idea.   He initially questioned why I would make that move simply because I was the only employee with Liberty that comprehended the functionality of Manager Plus as well as I did.  I explained to him, that I was more accustomed to sales and I was looking for a new challenge.  After meeting with Thomas Womble, it was agreed that I would need to transition out of Manager Plus because people would still need help while they searched for someone to replace me.

I made the transition into sales in October 2012 and was given a nominal salary for 3 months.  After that, I was 100% commission.  So essentially, whether I was financially successful or not was completely up to me.  I was given a goal for the first year to achieve $800,000 in sales.  If I could get to $1,000,000 the first year, that would be above and beyond what was expected.  The beginning was slow for sure, and the fact that I started in November was also challenging because traditionally, tire sales slow down during the holidays.  I was dedicated, I lived on the road, and I was committed to a consistent, focused plan.  I devised my own method of sales that I called “Spider Web Marketing” and by the third month, it was already working.  My first year, I produced $4,200,000 in sales. That’s a lot of tires especially when you consider it was earned $6 at a time. 

My second year rolled around and we discussed establishing goals again.  I was told that my first year was probably an anomaly and it would be difficult, if not impossible to reach this mark again.  In the same conversation, I was told if I could do $2 million the company would be satisfied.  I produced $4.4 million my second year, $4.5 million my 3rd, and $4.8 million my 4^th year.   A few months ago, I surpassed $22 million in sales production. 

When working in sales, there are a lot of flights, a lot of hotel rooms, and a lot of rental cars.  I have met a lot of friendly people @SouthwestAir.  I have always gotten the best customer service from them and they have made every effort to get me where I’m going during challenging travel days. I also appreciate the fact that their staff is always friendly and attentive to their passengers. I have stayed @Marriott hotels a LOT!  They actually play a trumpet when I walk into one of their hotels, put a robe around me and hand me a scepter.   But one of the sacrifices of this business is that I have spent a lot of time away from home during the last 8 years.  A lot of people think that the life of a traveling salesperson is glamorous and fun all of the time.  However, the reality is that you spend most of your time alone when you are not meeting with potential customers.   In this business, it’s necessary to meet most customers face to face.  Meeting them in person helps to build trust and foster a positive working relationship.   As I have traveled, I have met a lot of interesting people.  I have met some really smart entrepreneurs that have been incredibly successful.   I have seen numerous business models, some successful, and some not so much.  I have seen what works, and I have seen what does not.  I often talk to people and I can tell from their lack of enthusiasm and dedication, that they will probably not be in business for very long.  Then I’ve also talked to guys that are constantly considering ways to evolve and continue a prosperous business.  Honestly, the used tire industry is no different than any other industry in that, the best and the brightest will survive and be profitable in the years to come.

I have been grateful for this job and I have made every effort to make the most of it.  I’ve missed a lot of personal time with my family and friends by being away from home so much.  I’ve had to miss school programs, ball games, and time with my nieces and nephews. That has definitely been my biggest regret.  But as is the case with anything, the difference between being exceptional at your job or not, is whether you have commitment, effort, and respect.  I have all three of these attributes and it reflects in the sales I have produced for the company. Most importantly, I respect the fact that customers have options and I’m professional regardless of the choices they make.  

I can say with no reservation that this job has been quite a learning experience.  I believe that with my experience selling used tires, I can sell just about anything.  My philosophy is the same now as it has always been…when it comes to people….everyone has a purpose and deserves respect.  It does not cost anyone one nickel to be respectful and that is the center of my beliefs and why I have earned the respect of many people I have worked with over the years. Now is no different from when I was a builder and selling real estate…..I am always honest with customers even when I tell them something they are not going to like.  In this industry, not everyone believes in my personal philosophy of integrity or honesty.  My ability to adapt to just about any personality has been a real asset in the used tire industry. It requires constant effort, negotiation, addressing the ever-evolving issue of popular tire sizes, coordinating freight, and keeping accounts in order. No matter what it has taken, I have made every effort to meet the needs of my customers over the years and my sales are living proof — $22 million for the company……. $6 at a time.

Christmas Traditions

               Christmas has always been a wonderful time for our family.  Mama and Deddy always made every effort to make sure each Christmas was special.  Travis and I used to get up on Christmas morning around 3:00 A.M. and we would not go back to bed until the next night.  We spent time with our families, shared meals together, played with whatever we got and just had a great time every Christmas.

                Each year we would go to Mema and Papa Cameron’s on Christmas Eve. My cousin Kevin would always be in a rush to get home so he could go to bed.  He was mortified of the possibility that he might be awake when Santa Claus came by.  We would go to Mema and Papa Brafford’s on Christmas morning.  When I was younger, we would also go to my Great Grandparents house on Christmas Day.  There was always a good time and a lot of love everywhere we went.   I am so grateful for the life that I was blessed with.  There was never a time in my childhood that I did not feel unconditionally loved.  But I was also very appreciative of everything. 

                Over the years, things have changed somewhat but we still have traditions.  We still spend Christmas Eve with Mema Cameron.  I made a snowman pencil when I was in the 2^nd grade and gave it to Mema.  She still puts that pencil on her tree to this day, 37 years later.  Travis made one about 10 years ago, but she doesn’t really like his as much and puts his on the bottom of the tree in the back. Uncle Boyd’s Christmas Party has become one of things that I look forward to most each year.  The jokes and insults are always in full force at Uncle Boyd’s.  But its always in good fun and everyone enjoys the great camaraderie.  Everyone starts asking about the party months in advance.  I always check with Uncle Sammy to see if we need to modify his rules in any way.   Mema Brafford passed away this year but most of the Brafford’s are going to get together on Christmas morning.  I think Mema would have wanted us to get together.  Travis and I have taken Mama Christmas shopping almost every year since Deddy passed away.  Mama and Travis get me worked up each year and I have a cuss fit.  They actually provoke me to have it because they seem to think its funny and I guess I do too.  I’ve always appreciated the fact that mine and Maria’s families live close together.  We can get to most of our family within 15 minutes, and for us that is a true blessing.  Tonight when we leave Mema Cameron’s, we will head to Mamers to continue celebrating Christmas Eve with the Stewarts.     

                One of the traditions that I truly miss is decorating the house we grew up in.  Travis lives there now and we continued to decorate it until about 10 years ago.  It wasn’t that we didn’t want to do it.  But lack of time just became a problem.  We used to start decorating in October and by the weekend after Thanksgiving, we had the house very bright!  I’ve considered assembling a team and returning Boyd Brafford Drive to Christmas light glory, but we’ll have to give that more thought.

 

                Church has also been an important tradition in my life.  I’ve always loved the decorations and beauty of the church at Christmas.  I know we all love the cantatas, the children’s programs, the outpouring of love and the story of our Savior.  I am humbled by the story of Jesus every time I hear it. 

                As we celebrate Christmas this year, I hope that all of your families are blessed with happiness and peace.  We go through so much during the year, that I think everyone deserves some time to spend together and be with the ones we love.  Just remember, “For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you;  Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.  And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.” And that’s what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown.

May God bless all of you and Merry Christmas!

Honor

The evolution of social media has changed the world for all of us.  In some ways, it is better and in some ways it is worse.  I have traveled a lot in the last 7 years and the aspect of social media that I have appreciated the most is keeping up with what really matters in life, such as family.  Although people are often focused on how awesome I am, they forget that I come from a very humble background.  I was raised to respect others, love family, and be grateful for everything.  I can promise you, those values still hold true with me today.  As I have watched so many of you go through the challenge of losing people you love, my heart goes out to you.  The pain of losing someone is only helped by the hope and faith of being able to see them again one day. 

The lives of everyone around me changed on September 13^th, 2000.  We were certainly sad, exhausted and relieved at the same time.  When I think about my father’s last day on Earth, I often think about 2 Timothy 4:7  “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”  He had rough days when he did not feel good, he had regrets that he was not going to be around in the years to come, and I’m sure he worried about not being here for his family.  But one of the greatest attributes I will remember about Deddy is that he simply accepted his fate and made every effort to maintain a positive attitude until the very end.  He was not mad at God, he did not feel like he had been dealt a worse hand than anyone else, and he did not feel sorry for himself.

I believe that because of how Deddy handled his demise, we only remember the good things about him and the times we spent together.  Sure, he had a lot of challenges during his last year, but he was also blessed to actually be walking around until the day before he passed away.  We reminisce about playing baseball during the summers, watching ballgames together, hanging out with his brothers on the weekend around the house, his voice of reason and calmness during the storms of life, his devotion to his mother and father, his love for Mama, and his one-liners when he was only being honest and not trying to be funny. 

Uncle Boyd said they were talking one day and he made the comment that he regretted he never would get to see his grandchildren.  Uncle Boyd asked him if it might be more difficult if his grandchildren were already here.  Deddy thought about it for a minute and told Uncle Boyd that he had a point.  Travis and his family live in the house that we grew up in.  There have been several strange things to happen while they have lived there.  A while back, Brooklyn (his 2 year old little girl) hit Colt and although it did not really hurt him, Travis scolded her.  She was put in “Timeout.”  Travis said she was crying like he was beating her with a stick.  In a few minutes, the house phone rang and the number calling was 499-9750.  Travis answered the phone and nobody was on the other end.  Then he called the number back only to get a recording that the number had been disconnected.  The significance of that story is that 499-9750 was Deddy’s business number for probably 30 years.  I told Travis that he may want to think before making Brooklyn cry again.  There have also been several times when Brooklyn seems to be smiling and waving at someone when there is nobody there.  I can’t help but think that maybe Deddy is watching his grandchildren after all.

I have often wondered if and what people that have passed away can see.  I like to think that they can see the good things but are shielded from the terrible things in this world.  I hope that Deddy can see his grandchildren.  I hope that he can see us coaching Colt’s teams as he grows up.  I hope he knows that I have tried to follow in his footsteps although I realize that I will never be as good of a man as he was.  I also hope the next time Travis gives a “Timeout” that Deddy appears and says….”Travis, what do you think you are doing!?”  I hope that he can see us golfing with Uncle Boyd on Sundays. I hope that he can see Travis and me taking Mama shopping at Christmas but I hope he cannot hear my yearly meltdown that they always provoke me to have.   I just hope that he can see the good times.  Because as the years continue to go by, he is missed more than he will ever know.  One of the most important lessons I ever learned from my Father was taught by example.  In this life, nothing you do or achieve really matters unless you have honor.  And that is the creed that I live by.  

The Essence of Success

“Successful is the person who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much;  Who has gained the respect of children; Who leaves the world better than they found it;  who has never lacked appreciation for the Earth’s beauty; Who never failed to look for the best in others and who always gave the best of themselves.”

     That quote hangs on my wall with this picture of Deddy.  A few months before he died, we arranged his trophies, awards, and plaques in his office and had him to sit with all of them and take a picture.  He had been voted into the NC Hall of Honor just a few days before.  He laughed and asked us why in the world we wanted him to do that.  I told him because he had earned it and he sat down.

     But the picture is not just of Deddy sitting with a bunch of trophies.  It’s not a picture of arrogance nor of being too proud and it would not even begin to tell the story Travis and I know.  It shows a countless number of hours on T-Ball, Little League, and Junior League fields.  It shows long days picking up other kids during the summers just so they could play ball.  It shows so many times when he gave encouragement in both victory and defeat.  It shows dedication to his community and the pride he took in helping so many times in different ways.  I see friends to this day that immediately reminisce about playing ball during the summers.  Everybody that played on one of his teams loves those memories. 

     When you look at the trophies behind him, its easy to see success.  However, it does not show the challenges he faced throughout his life.  The years he got up before daylight to start his day to provide for  Mama, Travis and me.  It does not show the worry and stress during times when the economy would slow down and it would be a lot harder to make a living.  It doesn’t show the hours he worked at night just to get ready for the next day. 

     I see so many of you on Facebook who have lost family members.  I know many of you have also lost your father.  I cannot tell you how sympathetic I am for you because I know exactly how you feel.  I still miss Deddy as much now as I did the week after he passed away.  I regret that I cannot sit down and talk to him sometimes so he can help me make a decision.  He was on my mind even more the last few years as Mama battled cancer and Mema Brafford’s health declined.  I often wondered if he knew what was going on and what he could see.  I know that Mema Brafford saw him several times during her last few weeks so I’m certain he was on her welcoming committee! 

     I certainly learned a lot from my father.  He was always supportive and encouraging but he also taught Travis and me respect.  He didn’t do that by force, but instead he led by example.  That was one his best traits.  He was respectful of everyone around him.  He was a good son to his mother and father.  He was a good brother to Randy, Sammy, and Uncle Boyd and anytime one of his brothers needed him, he was there for them immediately.  He respected my mother and he appreciated everything she did for him as his own health declined.  In turn, when Mama was battling cancer, I did not hesitate to do everything I could to help her. 

     The saving grace of losing someone so close to you is knowing that they are at peace and there is no more sickness or sorrow.  I often wonder what and if they can see anything.  I hope he knows that I honored my promise to him.  I hope he can see how much his grandson, Colton, looks like him.  I hope he can see Travis and me coaching T Ball games and he is reminded of the fond memories that we have.  I hope he knows how much I miss him.  I hope he knows that so many people honor him often simply with a fond memory.  Deddy lived well, laughed often, and loved much.   Although his time on Earth was not nearly as long as I would have liked, the example he set as a father lives on through Travis and me.  As time passes by, if we can reflect on our own lives and see that we emulated Deddy’s life, that will certainly be something that both of us can be proud of.  

The Ten Commandments

   

     Well, well, well. It's that time of the year again. Spring is coming, flowers are blooming, Easter is just around the corner, and "The Ten Commandments" is once again coming on television!

     This of course is my favorite movie of all time. Now, I know for a lot of you that have heard me recite every line from "Silence of the Lambs," that may be somewhat of a surprise. But I think it’s great. You have to admit, it is one of the most fascinating stories in the Bible and the movie is certainly one of the most cinematic movies of all time.

     There are a number of things about the movie that run through my mind each time I watch it. To begin with, Pharoah and anyone that followed him must have had some sort of learning disability. Now, I can somewhat see the thought process of Pharoah; he had all the wealth, owned the entire city and ruled everyone. But it is still a little hard to believe, that in the end, someone could be stupid enough to banish Moses from the “world”. To banish someone he once considered a son just because he had sympathy for a population of slaves and the horrible conditions in which they lived and worked.

     After Moses was disowned by Pharoah, Rameses was loving life. Moses had been the thorn in Rameses' side his whole life. His father loved Moses more, his woman was in love with Moses, and Moses proved to be a better engineer, military leader, and was more highly respected throughout Egypt. So, when they found out Moses was a slave, don't you know that Rameses was elated! Even then, everyone was ready to accept him. But when Moses admits to Pharoah that he would free the slaves if he could, he is considered a threat and is banished forever from Egypt. As the life of Moses continues, he is called by God to be the deliverer of the Hebrew people. He did not even know God, but Joshua told Moses that God knew him! Instead of executing Moses, Ramses sends him out into the desert with the intentions of him dying a sufferable death. However, not only does Moses not die, he finds God and comes to truly understand his purpose.

     At this point in the movie, the story really begins to unfold. Pharoah dies and Rameses becomes King of Egypt. Almost immediately, God directs Moses to return to Egypt to lead the Hebrew people out of bondage. Moses goes to Rameses and demands that the slaves are freed. Of course, Rameses saw this as preposterous considering they had an army, owned and ruled the city, lived a lavish lifestyle and owned all the slaves. So from his point of view, who cared about this "God" that Moses worshipped?

     As the story continues, instead of Rameses yielding to logic and reason, his ability to be rational and intelligent are obviously NOT options. God curses Egypt with multiple plagues, yet Ramses refuses to free the slaves. I always contemplate, what if I was one of the Egyptian guards? It would be like this..."Ok, let's think about this rationally Rameses, you have an army and complete power and this guy has a stick. You threw snakes at him and his stick turned into a snake and ate your snakes. I haven't had a drink of water in forever because it’s all blood now. Frogs, gnats, and locust have eaten everything but Nefeteria's eyebrows. We have boils all over us and its hailing fire. And oh yeah, by the way, it has been so dark for 3 days that I can't see my hand in front of my face. Seriously, I realize that your logic has been altered since your hairdresser told you that a long pony tail on one side of your head would be a strong look for you and your son. But you keep talking to that black statue with a bird's head on it. What has he done so far? Stand there and look stupid while the God of Moses sends one plague after another? Therefore, here is my sword and my armor. I am putting on one of those potato sack robes and I am going with Moses because his God is God! Oh, and by the way, so let it be written, so let it be done!" The story would be very different if I lived back them.

     Moses finally tells Rameses that "the next plague brought onto Egypt will come from your mouth". But the genius, Rameses says, "Oh yeah, anymore plagues brought on to us, and I'll kill the first born of every Hebrew family." This is my part again "Hey Pharoah, are you trying to be stupid? Yeah, remember me? I was in your army last week but I wised up pretty quick. Are you sure you don't want to take that back?" And Rameses says "Nope, I am the KING.” What happens? A mean, green fog of death floats through Egypt and kills all of the first born of Egyptian families. All of the first born of Hebrew slaves were protected by the mark of lambs blood, therefore the death “passed over” their homes. THEN, Rameses relented and let the slaves go. "Well, way to go Pharoah! See, it didn't really take that much to convince you!?"

     Next thing you know, the city is cleared of slaves and they are all gone. What was Rameses doing?  He was worshipping the bird head man to bring his son back to life. At this point I'm thinking "Really? That's your plan?" Of course Nefeteria, who loved him SO MUCH comes in, mocks him, and DARES him to chase the slaves down and kill Moses. You would think at this point he would say, "Nefeteria, why don't you shut that windsock that keeps flapping in the wind before I go postal." But no, he says, "Oh yeah, I'll chase Moses down and bring his blood back on my sword!" Did the burning bush cause him to reconsider? Nope. Did it cross his mind that it might not be a real good idea to send his entire army into the sea that God divided for the slaves to cross through? Nope.

     So, after watching his army destroyed by the sea and the slaves shooting off fireworks on the other side, Pharoah goes home with his gimpy horse. And what does his sweet wife ask? "Where is the blood of Moses?" Once again, if I could be in this scene, it would be better..."Ummmm, Nefi, listen up....in case you didn't notice, you just suffered through 10 plagues. Your little boy is deceased and its your husband's fault. All of the slaves have hit the trail, and just to remind you of what is going on, Rameses left here a few days ago with 10,000 soldiers. Unless I have severe cataracts, it appears that he has come home with just his horse and one of Willie Nelson's braids hanging off the side of his head. Does it appear to you that he rode back in with a posture of victory, or of a sad clown who can't juggle? If he has the blood of Moses on his sword, he found one of his worn out Band-Aids from that long desert walk and he rubbed the blood on his sword. Moses prayed for the Red Sea to be divided, walked through it, then ascended up the mountain to talk to directly to God. So, you and ‘silly hair’ can go over there and talk to birdman. Hey by the way, you got any Sweet Tea, I am parched!"

     Of course, the stupidity does not end there. After being in slavery for hundreds of years, freed, then seeing the burning bush protect them, walking through the middle of a divided sea, and finally reaching the other side, the SLAVES were becoming restless. I have to slap myself to understand this. In the meantime, Moses goes up the mountain to directly talk to God and was given the 10 Commandments. But guess what, Dathan convinces the people that they need a gold bull to worship. If I could physically beat up one person in this story, it would definitely be Dathan. At this point I am saying "What in the wide world of sports is going on?" The Hebrew people turn to sin and immorality. That is until Moses walks back down the mountain with the commandments. My character would now be yelling "I told ya'll he was going to be angry!"  Moses throws the commandments at them and total calamity ensues killing many of the people who had dismissed God turned to sin.

     By the end of his life, Moses has the people of Israel traveling like a normal group toward the promise land. However, Moses doesn't make it. It is time for him to climb the golden staircase. He got them there, and now it is up to them to make good choices through life. The truly epic story of the entire life of Moses is why I love this movie.

     For most people, you have parents, grandparents, teachers, coaches etc. that make an effort to guide you and give you good advice. Now I know some adults are not good role models and actually are harmful to children. However, most of us have people around us to give good advice. Somewhere along the line, we all have at least one person that reaches out to us and attempts to help us follow the right path through life. But just like the end of the "10 Commandments," someone can lead you to the promise land and show you where its at, but the decision is up to you from that point on as to what kind of life you decide to lead.

     As I have followed so many friends this past year, a know a lot of you have had challenges, health concerns and even the loss of loved ones.  However, keep in mind that this weekend there will be a beautiful celebration in Heaven.  Jesus Christ died to help us through the difficulties of this world and to give us an opportunity for forgiveness.  No matter what we are faced with, the Lord knows our need.  One of the hardest things in life is faith and that's something that we all need to keep.

     May God bless all of you this Easter. And as you watch "The Ten Commandments" tonight, I hope my version will bring all of you a little laughter.

Family

My family has always been close.  I feel so fortunate to have lived a life with a family that genuinely cares so much for one another.  It meant even more the year that Deddy battled cancer.  There were always family and friends around.  I think to have a family that truly cares, is more of a blessing in this life than anything else.  As I have traveled all over the U.S. the last 7 years, I’ve seen a lot of homeless people.  I always feel so sorry for someone that is homeless because it breaks my heart that for whatever reason, they don’t have a family around them.  A good friend of mine was with me one time when I rolled down my window and handed a homeless person some money.  He asked me if I did that all the time and I told him “no.”  Then he asked me why I did it sometimes instead of never doing it, or doing it all the time.  My answer was simple, sometimes I feel led to do it.   Honestly, that’s not me being a good person, that’s the Lord telling me to do it. 

This past week my grandmother passed away.  She lived 89 years and she had a wonderful life in my opinion.  She was never wealthy, she never lived in a mansion, and she was not a member of high society in any way.  But what she did have was a family.  She moved to Boyd Brafford Rd about 70 years ago when she and Papa got married.  She grew up outside of Sanford where they were accustomed to “going to town” on a regular basis.  She told me one time when she moved out to Harnett County, she thought she had moved to the moon!  For her, it was a long ways from civilization.  But she and Papa made a good life for themselves.  She had four sons, Boyd Jr., Bob (my father), Sammy, and Randy.  All four of her sons grew up in a home where they felt loved by two parents that made every effort to provide for them everything they needed.  They can remember things like when they got indoor plumbing, when they had electricity connected to the house, and when they had a new well dug by hand.  Mema and Papa Brafford had a wonderful marriage but it wasn’t always like the Cleavers.  They would make each other so mad sometimes you would think one of them would blow a gasket.  But at the end of the day, they loved each other.  They set a precedent for everyone else as to how to be a family.  They cared for their children, they cared for their grandchildren, they cared for each other’s family, and they were always respectful of each other.

Mema Brafford was quite a character.  She was going to get her “hair done” on Thursdays no matter what.  She had a very mild stroke a few years ago and literally had to pull over on the side of the road.  After she got herself together, instead of going to the doctor, she continued to her standing appointment to get her hair fixed!   She liked to pick a guitar and she liked to listen to the radio.  She loved going to church.  She enjoyed going to eat lunch with some of her family and friends whenever she could. She liked to go to K-Mart and look around while she waited to get medicine filled.  To her, neither Wal-Mart nor Target held a candle to K-Mart.  She loved to plant flowers.  She loved birds and she kept a hummingbird feeder on her porch all the time.  There was not a person on the planet that loved her dogs more than she did.  A man who grew up with my father and uncles, told me not long ago that everyone who lived in Harnett County knew the last thing you ever wanted to do was do ANYTHING to an animal on Boyd Brafford Rd.  The consequences for that were not good.

Mema Brafford had 8 brothers and sisters.  None of them lived to be older than 67.  All of them died of cancer except two.   Her oldest brother was killed in a car crash and her youngest brother died of a massive heart attack.  Her first sister to pass away was only in her 40’s.  It seems like during my entire childhood, one of Mema’s family members were dying from cancer.  Even most of her sibling’s spouses died from cancer.  Each time someone in the family was battling cancer, Mema was always very involved to help as much as she could.   But the most difficult illness I ever saw Mema deal with, was my father’s battle with cancer.   I think my uncles would agree, Deddy was a “Mama’s boy.”   That year took a toll on everybody, and it certainly did on Mema and Papa.  Deddy had a special relationship with Mema.  He was always good to her but he could also give her some “tough love” if it was necessary.  I am certain that when she passed away, Deddy was one of the very first angels to greet her.  Papa told me one time that no parent should ever have to bury a child, no matter how old they are.    But to think about how many loved ones Mema outlived, it really is incredible.   As her health declined the last several weeks, I contemplated that she had a lot more family and friends waiting for her on the other side than she had left here. I know Deddy was elated to see his Mama.

Mema Brafford had a terrific quality of life until her last few months.  She was still driving herself around until about a year ago.  She was able to enjoy family gatherings, lunches, and visits.  I will remember so many funny things that I heard her say through the years.  I will remember that she would tell me that certain things I would say were mean, but at the same time she would be laughing like crazy about what I said.  I will remember how much she loved all of us.  Literally, 10 minutes before she took her final breath, she told us that she “loved all of us.”   She was not alone when she passed away, but had her 3 sons by her side and a room full of grandchildren and great grandchildren.  Her last day, she indicated several times that my father was there.  She spoke about a beautiful farm with a stream that she had visited already and she walked around and talked to Jesus. She said on that farm was every dog she had ever had.  She also went swimming with her brothers, sisters and her father in a river.  As she always did, her mother sat on the bank and waited for them as they swam. She said that she wanted them to come back and get her and take her back to Heaven.  She specifically mentioned Papa Brafford and her brother J.A.  So even in the end, as her body gave out to a long life, she was never alone.  She was also not alone as she passed on to God’s Kingdom.  Her entire life was built on a foundation of family, and because of that, Mema Brafford passed away a rich woman.  As a family, we can all take comfort knowing with absolute certainty, all is well with her soul.